Guy wins the lottery...
Guy wins the lottery. Goes to his local pet store and tell the owner that he wants the most exotic pet available. "I have just what you want," says they pet store owner. He then takes out a box and places it on the counter top. "It is a talking centipede," the owner says; "but it only talks to you when it gets comfortable with its environment, the surroundings or the owner."
The guys says "Fuck it" and takes the centipede.
When he arrives home he places the box on the counter and takes the top off.
"Hey centipede, I'm going to watch a movie. Wanna join?"
The centipede says nothing.
"Well that's fine, I'll just watch it alone," the guy says.
After watching the movie the guy gets hungry, he then turns to the centipede and ask him if he wants some food.
"Hey centipede, you want some dinner?"
The centipede says nothing.
"Well fine then," the guy says; "I'll just eat alone."
After dinner the guy decides he wants to go to the bar so he invites the centipede along.
"Hey centipede, I am going to shower then head to the bar. You want to join?"
The centipede says nothing.
The guy gets frustrated at this point and showers. After the shower he walks to the door and invites the centipede one more time.
"One last chance centipede, you want to come to the bar with me?"
The centipede says nothing.
"Well fine then, forget you centipede," the guy says.
As he is walking out the door the centipede yells at the guy,
"Hey motherfucker, I'm putting my shoes on. Calm down."
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