Link: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/415707529.html

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Rants and Confessions from a Denver Escort

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Date: 2007-09-06, 3:21PM MDT

First and Foremost: I work for the President (Ummm the light bulb inventor) Benjamin Franklin….

Rants from an upscale Denver Escort who started at the bottom…the agency….
P.S Anyone writing me hate notes after reading this....then it must apply to you, and if you are the wife of one of these idiots and bitter...I am sorry...we are all a little bitter.
This is a rant that has built up over the course of a year, and that must now be said. I cost too much for the freaks to seek me out now…. And I may run across you guys again…but you are memorable…enough for me to seek therapy anyways.

On with the RANTS!

Issue #1:

I have to voice this in the loudest possible way because I STILL get it…and I quote “I’m only here to please you, tell me what you like…that’s all I want…” barf, barf, barf….If you gave me what I wanted it would be 5 bills and your back, on the way out the door. Why are clients SO damn concerned with ‘making me cum’? The fact that they say they are only there to please me really really annoys the shit out of me. They are there to masturbate into me, and this is VERY different, ladies and gentlemen, from making love with your significant other. So guy’s please who the fuck are you kidding? We are emotional creatures, and just a little more complicated then just you plugging away at us and expecting for us to ‘cum’. Gross

Let’s just say ENOUGH with the solemn face and ‘serious talk’ after the session. You insisted I not put a raincoat on you when my mouth went down to the unknown, we wore protection (as I always do), and yet after the session you say “I’m OK right……?.....your clean?” Let’s define ‘clean’ as you put it. Do I take showers everyday? Yes. Do I get STD tested every 3 months? Yes. Do I always use condoms? Yes. Did I see 10 other clients that same week or even day as you? Yes. And 98% all went down on me. Now, even if I was completely honest with you, I can almost swear all those guys I saw in just this last week were not completely honest with me. Do I know this and still take the risk? Yes, and I am still an escort. I know stats, and educate myself immensly on health safety issues…sounds like you don’t but still see me….hmmmm…there has to be some level of responsibility that you take on when you see me….GET IT FUCK STICK?

NO, you cannot fuck me without a condom. (Fact: I get this question about 1/50 people)…And needless to say THAT IS FUCKING GROSS! How many other escorts have you asked this question, that actually LET YOU!!?? You know what this means to me? That you have NOTHING to lose…as in for example “well shit I have _________(insert v.d here) already so why the hell not?” and that is fucking scary.

Fact: 90% of the men I see ARE married. (and quite honestly we probably make them better husbands, there wives don’t have to fuck them…they pay us…everyone is happy!)

And I quote again “ I’m married…..is that ok?” Why would it matter fuckstick? It’s preferred. It hopefully means you have a life and will leave me the fuck alone after the session. Plus, how insulting is that question. As if I escort to find meaningful relationships with trustworthy men. Note to every dumb shit out there….I am not looking for single men to date, better if you are involved.

I don’t care if other girls like it or “actually prefer it” (or that bullshit line you are feeding me), you CANNOT cum on my face, around it, in my mouth, or even near it. Put your legs up on the wall and flip them by your head, that way you can shoot it at your own face ya dip shit.

To the guys who have escorts girlfriends: Quit fucking acting like you have me all figured out. Do not lump me into the category of your trashy escort girlfriend who charges $200/hr. for full service. And goes by the handle “_________(insert name here) of Denver”. I charge $500 minimum now, because after the year of being at the bottom I now understand my self worth. She has been in the business 10 years and you think she is a top provider…..quit making me laugh. My chosen name also has a bit more thought process to it….then debbie does denver. Do not think you ‘know’ the escort community. If you and her have fucked up underlying problems because you know she fucks SOO MANY guys (gotta make those dollars) to support your loser ass…well don’t take it out on me. You’re a fuckin idiot.

Ok guys, hygiene talk. Your breath smells of dog shit, maybe you know who you are…maybe not. BUT Guys please please please brush your teeth, wear deordant. Also when we are in missionary and your fat, short, bald-headed self is sweating to death on top of me, remember, I don’t like it you have no hair to refrain your sweat from falling in my god damn face. Drape a sweat towel over your shoulders, that way when your half-way done jacking off inside me you can wipe your face and save me from your disgusting sweat fluids dropping all over my face!

Farting is disgusting and unacceptable on my part, but…then why do you do it? How fucking old or drunk are you that you don’t even say excuse me when you break wind?? Next time one of you assholes tries to lick my ass again, I’m cutting one loose. I already told you to keep your fingers and tounge out of my ass (for your own good, I have irritable bowel syndrome, no joking) but yet you persist. My IBS is so bad sometimes. I do have gas and bloat myself to hold it and, it does not help you are prying down there. SO just try not to be such an asshole.

Oh yes….dry fingers HURT. Did you actually think over the last 2 minutes you gave me a wet slicky down there? Once I saw you I knew only alcohol would get me remotely turned on, and since you provided NONE of that, stop trying to shove your dry ass fingers in my gine. It’s called Lube, fuck stick.

I HATE HATE HATE men which big lizard size dicks. You could say I have a smaller vagina, or even a short canal. But I have been split before while you ram away and it puts me out of work for at least a week. Your blacklisted you fuck heads, I don’t like to be gutted or feel like my insides are bruising while you pound away with that meaty cock of yours. I hate you. If you came in 2 minutes, I think I would be fine….BUT noooo your stupid ass must have taken viagara so you could ‘last’ the ENTIRE goddamn time. Listen asshole, no one fucks the ENTIRE time. It’s not normal. If they did my pussy would fucking fall off….all you big guys out there..you only get 2 minutes before I become hostile. How about if I beat your dick off lubeless with a piece of sandpaper for 60minutes…how would you like that? Fuck you guys.

Wait, the all time favorite hilarious priceless quote “ Let’s go on a REAL date sometime…..” does that mean you want to hang out with me for free?......ha……ha…..ha….(choke)….ha….ha…I’m choking how hard I’m laughing… Anyways, moving on..

Since we talked about big dicks, lets talk about limp dicks….nothing wrong with ‘em, they are cute little guys. However, the limp dick and I come at odds when you are still attempting to thrust inside me and the condom is falling off. Thus leaving it inside me. Just STOP, don’t fucking try anymore. Its not going to happen and I don’t want ANY piece of your dick skin touching me at all down there. Would you like a hand job?

And that brings me to my next point, why do you have to thrust sooo deep that you go past the shaft part of the condom? I rolled that baby down as far as I could and you still want your disgusting dick skin to touch me somehow. Just STOP, your dick doesn’t get longer the more you shove it in! You are just annoying me.

For the guys who want to “see my face” picture before I meet them, knowing very well I don’t show my face on the website. Fuck off. I have a fucking beautiful face and I KNOW it. Everyone loves my face, maybe too much. It is how I am successful and can pull in 5,000 a week. If I had a butt ass ugly face like you do, do you think I would still be charging $500 for the fuckin hour? I KNOW my face and general appearance is fuckin fantastic and I use it to my advantage.

Sure you can make out with my foot for an hour. No I will not wrap a rubber band around your penis head several times to help you not cum. You want me to dig my nails into your balls??

Ummm is that a freshly pierced lip ring you have there young guy? Why are you trying to go down on me then with that freshly pierced lip ring? Fucking gross…I don’t want your open sore in my vagina. Dumb shits.

Don’t fucking squeeze my sides so hard you leave fingertip bruises! My boyfriend will see those!

I keep everything that is handed to me….don’t fuckin ask me for change dip shit.

Green makes me smile and love you more : )

Hold your belly up when we are in doggy style it makes a fart-slapping noise if you don’t. I was kind enough to pull your belly back to find your dick just 5 minutes ago when I was on top….

I honestly laugh when you ask me why my skin is so soft. Let me tell you my routine. I am a bit obsessive compulsive when I comes to flesh to flesh skin cells rubbing off on me. I SCRUB myself every night with sugar and anything else I can find that is abrasive enough to make my skin raw. This is to get your distgusting skin cells and germs off me. Every time you touch me I think I will be expecially scrubbing that area extra hard tonight…your ‘soft’ touches make my skin crawl ya dirty old fucks.

Why is it I expect the worst when a client walks in or I show up? Ok so you have a gimpy arm that is shorter then the other arm with knubs for fingers and a bit deformed. Even your elfish body and rounded chest sets you apart from other guys. You need love too. Since no one but me will fuck ya, I go at it bravely. But why WHY WHY do you have to be so creepy with that arm? I tried to ignore it, and you then proceed to touch me with it and call them your “special fingers” and then shove your knubly deformed half fingered hand into my vagina trying to ‘pleasure’ me. Not only does that creep me out, but it really makes me wonder what karma I have put out for you to show up at my door. Why must I be punished? Therapy….I need it…

Stop drooling in my mouth and learn how to kiss….why is your tounge so fat? I can’t believe I just let him go down on me with those rotten ass teeth…I guess it was better then him trying to make out with me…..Gentlemen red onions are offensive…expecially on your breath!...I can’t stop staring at the bats in your cave…

No I will NOT dominate you, you are looking in the WRONG god damn section of EROS. You want ‘BDSM’ not “female escorts”. I DON’T get off sticking things in your ass and making you cross-dress. You couldn’t pay me enough….well maybe, but you’re a bunch of cheap bastards also, so fuck off. I want triple what I charge hourly.

Repeat, we are NOT dating. I am not your girlfriend. Stop thinking you are cool enough for me to be here if there was no money involved. I wouldn’t even fart your way unless you paid me. Much less show up and just “hang-out”. Don’t fucking tell me you love me, 3 clients this week already beat you to it.

Pussy Eating….for the so-called “experts” Rule #1 Don’t spead my lips apart with your hands so far that they tear the inner soft skin on the vagina….how about I pull your pee hole in two different directions…hmmm?? It would rip the sides…wouldn’t it ?fuck stick?? Rule #2 Don’t suck my clit and labia up into your mouth and catch it on your teeth…..lets say I rake my teeth over your cock? Wouldn’t that feel great?? Rule #3 Keep your tounge on the top or the bottom. The middle of my vagina is my pee hole…I don’t know about you but tounging my pee hole is NOT a turn on….it burns. Rule #4 Lick on TOP of the hood not under. There are 4,000 neves on my clit and it feels WAYYYY to sensitive. Kinda like your cock, JUST after you cum. With that said 80% of guys really really give bad head. That is just my personal observation.
If you ask to extend in the middle of a session, because you are just IN LOVE with me…as most usually are…then make sure you have enough to cover the time used buddy! You can’t refund my time asshole, and just because I didn’t want to get up and talk about business when you asked to extend in my compromising position…don’t take advantage of it and bring less then you think you will spend! Dumb shits…

On a happy end note…I DO have to give some credit to the normal guys. The married ones who are stuck in a marriage and are very attractive and could literally get any younger female they wanted, but stay for the kids. Also the non- freaks, losers, ass-face, deformed, hanicapped, overly obese …etc..guys. who have a charming way about them, but decided not to pursue relationships they are not ready to commit to. I salute and respect you. Because you and I both know you can get an attractive girl, who is unsuspecting and sweet and thinks the best of people, to go home with you after you feed her lies just to get into her pants, and then act as if you care for awhile until the sex gets old then throw her out on her relationship wanting ass. Get smart ladies! Stop sleeping around and not using condoms half the time. Fact: My non escort girlfriends hardly ever use condoms…I yell at them. They are so slack….and I use to be. BUT I have learned, Men go after what you want. I understand my relationship to you is a client, provider on and there are no gray lines. That is what you are there for, and so am I. You, fantasy porn-star sex…me-benjamin franklins…and it works out.

SO STOP ASKING ME MY REAL GOD DAMN NAME!!!!! It’s none of your fucking business…this is a fantasy I fulfill for you…stop making it so god damn personal. I’m NOT your fucking girlfriend/wife for christ sake (or want to be)….I’m just a sweet face…..


Location: hotel room
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 415707529
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Here is another one. This one has some links to some images in it and the links don't show up from copy and paste.
Link: http://www.freewebs.com/iftheyonlyknew/
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If They Only Knew

I’ve been a GFE Provider for some time now. I have quite a few reviews on TER, with ratings no less than a 9. I travel through an agency, usually 2 to 3 times a month. I have never left a client unhappy…. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for how the clients leave ME feeling.

     I was on a trip recently, and a 2 hour appointment was a no-call, no-show… leaving me with some time to think about things. All I could think about was “God, I wish these guys knew what was going on in my mind during these calls… Or I at least wish they had read some sort of list of Do’s and Don’ts before they came!” …

     I really got to thinking… How could I let these guys KNOW how TERRIBLE they are??? Let them know how to FIX themselves to make the experience less terrible for me? I’m not talking about facially challenged, or over-weight guys… That’s not a problem for me! I’m talking about the guys that are too rough, or too smelly, or too pushy, or too careless, or too disrespectful, or too wrapped up in making ME cum.

     If you can’t keep the girl comfortable, it’s going to be difficult for her to be as open and enthusiastic as you’d like her to be. So PLEASE, even if you think you’re a GOD in bed, and you make every provider you see cum 3 times, READ THIS!… Because chances are, your perception of yourself is NOTHING like the perception the girl has of you… We’re just way too polite, and too obligated to keep you happy, to be able to say anything about it.

     So, here it is. Honest and to the point. The actual things that go on in my mind… Not a sugar-coated version to keep you thinking that you ARE good in bed. Because the truth is, you’re not any good at all. Yes, even YOU…The guy who’s reading this and thinking “Wow, that poor girl! She’s seen so many nasty guys! If only she had seen me! I’d make her cum 5 times!”… I am ESPECIALLY talking to YOU.

A list of things I WISH you knew before you walked into my hotel room….

~My clit is hooded for a reason. Stay ON TOP of the hood! NO lifting or pulling or moving!!!

When Attempting Clitoral Penetration, Stay Within the Circled Region

~If you’re poking or prodding “under the hood” of my clit, chances are it’s not my clit at all. You’re probably rubbing and shoving on my urethra- Which feels very similar to having a catheter put in. If you’ve had a catheter, you know how pleasant the feeling is.

~My privates are more delicate than a tulip. Don’t scrub me like a dirty kitchen floor. The softer the better… I’d say about 100 times as soft as you think it should be will do.

The Female Body                                              NOT The Female Body

~Don’t believe ANY rumors you may have heard… I don’t want any of your body parts in or around my asshole. It is NOT enjoyable, and it does NOT enhance ANYTHING.

~Remember how bad it hurt when your older brother would give you titty twisters as a kid? Keep in mind that our nipples are about a million times as sensitive as yours are… And please!!!… Our breasts are so sensitive, and bruise very easily. Don’t treat them like stress-relief balls.

OUCH!!!!!

~If you’re longer than 6 inches, sex with my legs above my head will be painful for me. It’s not a bottomless pit. It may also be painful from behind.

~I don’t particularly want your tongue anywhere on me. ESPECIALLY not on my neck, down my throat, in my ear, or ANYWHERE on my freshly made-up face. Just stop ALL the licking. It’s gross.

~When I’m pushing your head away, and squirming backwards… It’s not because I LIKE what you’re doing.

     ~You’re probably the 5th or 6th guy I’ve screwed that day- I’m SORE, and NOTHING you do to me is going to feel good… Unless it’s a back rub.

~No, I don’t like that.

~No, I’m not going to cum.

~No, I don’t want to mount you upside-down and backwards.

~…But surprisingly, Yes! I DO want you to cum all over my (fill in the blank). Just get it over with already.

~You really want to know how you can please me? Get on top of me, finish really fast, give me a big tip, and leave 40 minutes before your time is up. Wow, that would be amazing.

~Stop asking me what I want- Unless you’re prepared to hear something similar to the previous statement.

~I don’t want to have an orgasm from you, I don’t want you to go down on me, and I don’t give a flying fuck about your “performance”. It’s MY job to please YOU. Let me do my fucking job.

~I usually begin working before the hotel maids are on the floor, therefore it’s VERY difficult for me to attain towels. They’re like a delicacy. You using 2 of my towels and a wash cloth, for no apparent reason, is like me using 2 $50 filet mignon steaks to wipe my ass.

These…                                                              Equal THIS

~I work all day. I don’t have time to go anywhere- Not even to the store to replenish my supply of rubbers. And they cost MONEY. I don’t appreciate you carelessly removing and replacing them 6 times in one session.

~If you’re in her condom drawer, and see some choices- Don’t choose the Magnum unless you truly are Extra Large. Condoms are hard to come by with our busy schedules, and chances are we only have a few Magnums. If you’re not extra large, but prefer the Magnums for comfort reasons, bring your own.

THESE….                                        …Aren’t for THESE

~I don’t have an extra set of bed sheets handy, so PLEASE refrain from secreting or wiping your bodily fluids onto the ones that are there.

~If you have an hour… Don’t wait until 59 and a half minutes to cum, and expect to be able to take a 10 minute shower, and all the lovely time you need to get dressed. One hour means OUT THE DOOR in an HOUR.

~We only have 15, at the most 30 minutes between appointments… Sometimes, we have NO time. It’s BARELY enough time to hop in the shower, dry off, fix my hair, fix my make-up, put all my clothes on, make the bed, clean up any mess you left, etc… Please don’t be late, and PLEASE don’t overstay your time.

~I will NOT be upset if you finish early, and decide to leave before your time is up. TRUST ME. Maybe I’ll have some time to run down the hall and steal some towels from the maid’s cart!!

~The majority of escort agencies take 40-50% of what the girl makes per hour.

~I work for tips!!! You like what I did? Well, show me with a little extra gift! You expect a little extra from me? Well, then I expect a little something extra too.

~It’s not an “all you can eat” buffet. I don’t HAVE to allow 2+ cups. Yes, a good provider (like myself) will allow multiple cups- But a good provider also deserves a good tip.

~All women (even escorts!) love gifts. Chocolate, flowers, sexy lingerie (a girl’s measurements will usually be posted on her page), yummy smelling candles, or even a Pocket Rocket! She’ll be much more enthusiastic about wanting to make you feel nice.

~Bring wine! Or beer, or champagne, or Kahlua, or some fruity mixed drink… And don’t forget the opener! It will be romantic, and it does a good job of breaking the ice, and helping out any nervous tension on both sides…. And she’ll be more willing to let it loose!

~Don’t try to negotiate fees. You get what you pay for. So if you don’t have all the dough, I suggest you find a girl at the truck stop.

~Double check your gift for her… If you end up shorting her, she’ll remember forever, and she won’t hesitate to tell her agency, or her “friends” who will keep that in mind when getting a call from you.

~Your cleanliness is a huge issue. If you’ve come to our hotel on your lunch break, use my shower. If you haven’t showered in the past hour, use my shower.

~If you’ve gone to bathroom, even ONCE, since your last shower, you need to shower AGAIN. Little drops of urine spray and splatter onto your balls and the surrounding area, and the smell is NOT a pleasant one. I don’t even want to get into the way it smells after you’ve done a #2. Let’s just say, it’s very easy to tell when you haven’t washed since you did it… Especially when you spread your legs a little for me to fit between them during a BJ. Wash WELL, with LOTS of soap… and get between ALL the cracks and crevices.

Use This.....                                             Or THIS!!!

~Do YOU want to go down on a big bushy stinky mess of a mountain, and get hair stuck in your teeth? Well, NEWS FLASH guys!!!!- Neither do I!

Please Don’t Make Me Put My Face Near That.

~If you smoke, and she doesn’t- Don’t smoke right before you’re with her! Or please, shower, brush your teeth, chew a mint, and scrub the shit out of your hands after a cigarette. If she doesn’t want a cigarette in her mouth, chances are, she doesn’t want your smoke scented saliva and hands in her delicate areas.

~Our EXTREME delicacy makes us very prone to infection down there… So be extra diligent with your cleanliness before you get near that area.

~You aren’t my boyfriend/husband… I’m not in love with you- Therefore, I do NOT want to cuddle. You sweaty, smelly old man.

~I’m an awesome GFE- But don’t let that confuse you into thinking that I actually like you. I don’t want your phone number, or email address. I will never fuck you for free. And if I wanted to meet up without the middle man, I’d be an independent.

~Something that ALL providers and hobbyists should know, but most don’t:

It’s just as easy (if not easier) to get HIV from going down on someone,

as it is to catch HIV from having unprotected sex. If you wouldn’t screw

her without a rubber, don’t go down on her. And don’t get upset if she

wants you to cover up during a BJ. It just means that she’s informed, and

keeping herself safe.

~Don’t ever try to hand my gift directly to me… And NEVER say the words “sex” or “blowjob”, or talk about fees before we actually do it- You fucking cop.

~Don’t bring large bags with you. They make us suspicious and uncomfortable. Cops bring large bags… and so do perverts with hidden video cameras.

~We are HUMAN!!!! We get sick, tired, hungry, sore, and worn out! We have feelings! We aren’t sex machines… Don’t hold it against us.

~Be thankful for our existence. How else would you get laid by a gorgeous woman with no strings attached?!

You’re Welcome.
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I would simply post the link instead of pasting the post here .............................................

These are very pissed and angry women. But I do get some of their points.

Let's play nice

[ Last edited by  unmask at 26-10-2007 23:51 ]

One Hotel lady I met was rather candid with me one day. She was in it for some nest money and wanted to get out fast. Her point of view on escort was that the job was wayyy to easy for the ladies (She liked the sex part), that one could get used to this and take this as the easy way out. She was really put off because the daddy and his girl would be high on something every day and sometime she would barely get 2-3 customers, not enough for her to pad her nest. She had her shares of weirdo's but was philosophical about all these, it came with the territories. Also these hotel ladies are rather vulnerable as they are not hardcore and are generally happy if you treat them right. The professional ladies in the states, etc are another story. These ladies are fiercely independent and are another story all together, one cannot even compare them with the Russian and the Polish, ladies. These E.European ladies are there for economic necessities, not in the same way as the more advance nations, but there for survival....They have another deminour which is rather attractive, perhaps fatalistic?

Thanks for these Sulasno!

Lots of food for thought here. When reading these rants, my first reaction was wow this girl really doesn't like men, probably regrets not going for that MBA. But then these girls really have a difficult job, and they have to service all clients regardless of how unpleasant they can be. Think of all the negative comments in the Reports section when a girl is slightly plump or has bad breath. Imagine having to screw dozens of REALLY gross women each week! Male physiology wouldn't permit it, but these girls have to put up with everything. Is is any wonder they can seethe with resentment.

Their Chinese sisters here in HK may not seem to have as much built up resentment, but is that really true? I am very grateful to these girls for allowing me access to their young beautiful bodies for what I consider a very reasonable sum. At the very least I owe it to them not to ask anything they are reluctant to do. I also try to stay in good shape and be careful about hygiene. Just because we pay them does not mean they are our slaves for an hour.

Fellow mongers, try to suppress your dislike of the girl posting here and read carefully. If you want to understand anyone, you must put yourself in their shoes and see life as they experience it day in and day out.

I am constantly trying to improve myself in whatever activity I undertake, and mongering is no exception. It's not often that we can have the benefit of completely candid advice from a working girl.

Absolutely not true! I've researched this and asked professionals. The chances of getting HIV from going down on a woman are less than dying in a car accident when you hop into a cab to go cross town.

Just 3 random web quotes from HIV experts/doctors.

"Again, as far as performing unprotected oral sex on a woman when she's not menstruating, thus far there have been no documented cases of HIV transmission solely from this route. It is impossible to tell, however, because, as mentioned earlier, most people engage in a variety of sexual activities. On the scale, it seems to be an extremely low risk activity."

"There is no record of anybody ever acquiring HIV by performing cunnilingus on an infected woman"

"The risk of HIV transmission from cunnilingus is extremely low. (See below.) Even with your two small canker sores, I would put your HIV risk in the remote-to-nonexistent category."

I'm sure that a lot of what those 'angry ladies' said would be echoed by the working girls in Hong Kong....they just
wouldn't voice it out.....I have found that if I am nice and considerate and friendly, this is usually reciprocated....in once
case a Mainland girl told me she had never seen her 141 photos and as she was a 10/10 revist prospect, I printed her
photos out and made a little montage in an 8" by 10" frame and brought it to her when I went back and she actually
cried when she unwrapped it and I subsequently had one of the best GFEs in recent years.....
I agree with Marsupial that we men would find it impossible to get it up for the female equivalents of some of us men....I for one am always grateful and appreciative when the young lovelies pretend I'm not a gross, smelly, white pig!

I posted the content also in case the link turning bad in the future.

So many sensitive bros...

For many of these girls, money is what they need and they don't have many choices to make this "easy" money.

For most guys here, money is not a problem. So, this is the perfect seller/buyer market.

Just keep in mind, this need to be a win/win exchange.