or would admit to having one?  You can admit it, we're all anony here.  

interesting topic, since we're on the subject of WGs and dating and hiding stuff from the wife.  Sorry, if you don't know what I wrote, you most likely don't have one.

Did you ever consider people who have one but cannot read asian? (afterall its an english forum).

having what? sorry but can't read it due to no language  package install on my computer

Do I have a mistress? Nope, since I'm not married. But my friends who got me into mongering do have wives and kids, and are pretty careful at keeping it a secret. They usually have a 2nd mobile number to keep contacts of their sexual encounters. They also take part in social activities, swimming club, tennis club... etc which they attend regularly every week. So if they decide to go punting, their wives would just assume that they have gone to play tennis or went swimming.

[ Last edited by  superfish168 at 1-10-2009 13:25 ]

The question that the bro was asking does anyone have a mistress.

is that the character for "er nai"
or "Second Wife" / Mistress for us Gwei Lo?

--8th

Got one here in china (gf ) the SO is in canada..... the SO do suspect me having  GF and did ask about it many times ( that is why i want to hide pics and stuff ) but i just deny it and i told never had sex at all in china

[ Last edited by  Raptorfan at 1-10-2009 13:45 ]

I have a friend, he has two gfs here in states, one in beijing, one in shanghai. i think he is working on one in Korea and one in japan.

Too much work if you ask me, but he likes the chase.

sorry I had to use the Chinese.  The English terms like mistress, concubine, second wife, etc. just doesn't translate that well connotation-wise.  The "er-nai/yi-nai" term is so much more controversial and a badge of honor/shame, yet a matter-of-fact term that has creeped in and become a societal problem all over Asia.  Unfortunately over the past 10 years women now fight back with the big D.

you need to do a lot of pounding to get the same effect as going to tennis or swimming. otherwise when they see the extra fat, they might suspect haha

Nope and not planning to have one.

planning to have one but still afraid of some circumstance

Having and attaining a mistress is very easy, even easier when you are in HK/China but maintaining a normal life while having a mistress is really tough.  I've had a few in my many young years of marriage and each one is a lesson learned.  It's really to fall into the trap, especially if your mistress doesn't have stretch marks from a few kids and is years younger than your SO.  You live in paranoia, you don't keep healthy hours and you spend time lying to your SO.  

I've talked in my sleep saying "I miss you so much baby", this is what I said to keep this specific mistress attached to me, also using these "lovey dovey tactics" to maintain anything sexual I wanted in bed with her.  I said it so much that it came like second nature, even during sleep.  I simply told my wife that I dreamed that she was on vacation and I picked her up from the airport.  Luckily I call EVERYONE baby.

Keeping a second or third prepaid cell phone was also a headache, last thing you need is for your real cell phone to ring and a woman telling you how much she misses you and loves you.

Finding time to spend with the family, then making up shit to find time for the mistress is even tougher. Coming back 2 days with a "porn star tan" wearing speedos in the Bahamas can be avoided by bathing in sunblock before taking the mistress in the salty water for a quick boink underwater is something that had to be learned.

I can tell you a thousand of these lessons learned via experience.  Having a mistress is hella fun, hella dangerous and hell bad for your health.

I would consider myself pretty seasoned at finding mistresses and keeping these relationships going for many months at a time, I tend to get tired of them after the first few months.  When you first play (when I was younger) it was to find something that was missing from my marriage, having a child will throw your life in a tailspin and responsibilities overwhelm your whole life, hence having a mistress relieves that stress but you also fall into the emotional trap that is almost inevitable even for a cold hearted SOB like myself.  After much pain, after much suffering and lots of lessons learned, I am much better at this now, it is experience that must be tried by one's own participation rather than listening to someone who has done it.

Final words, wise words if you want to listen.  (most of the time) you guys chose your wives (I know I did) you buy the engagement ring, you set up the perfect time to propose, you have the ultimate wedding.  Why? Deny it all you want, you fucking love your wife (most of the time), why else would you marry her?  You may not appreciate her enough but overall you (at least for me) know that you are lucky as hell to have your wife.  Men are pigs, we think with our dicks and need extracurricular activities outside of marriage.  

When you step into a first time mistress, you are hiding it from your wife, lying to the wife and it is something that you share with your mistress.  This was me before.  Now when I have a mistress and my past 2 mistresses, I am hiding my love for my wife from the mistress, I am lying to my mistress to get what I want and the love I share with my wife is hidden from my mistress.  You guys see the difference?  I see and hear lots of stories about HK men trading up their wives for a younger model in China, I find this shit utterly ridiculous because most of the time (IMHO and what I have experienced), it almost never works out with the younger China lady and the man will finally realize that his wife was the one best for him.  So to all the youngins out there who are thinking about getting a mistress, leave your emotions behind with your family and bring your dick at full staff to the mistress.  Lie to the mistress, hide your family from your mistress because in the end you will understand that a mistress is nothing but a hole to quench your desires where you family will always be number one.  Take this advice from a dude who has been through it all, to hell n back.

Use Google translation. Not perfect but OK and getting better. Translated 'mistress' OK.

I have not as yet but seriosuly thinking about it.  I've got a few numbers of previous WG's that I can see ans SZ but nothing permanant.  

Any bros know how much it will cost to maintain a "mistress in SZ".  It's obvious that you'll need to take her shopping etc etc but do those who have one give them a monthly allowance or something?

Not sure how this whole thing works and would love to get some advice !!

i think what sexpert said above is very well written...at least more me i think it makes a lot of sense.  i love my so...but sometimes i just want to get some release from the stress of normal life.

instead of a er nai, i go to my apt warehouse...or my a few other places that i frequent.   a few of the girls i've gotten to know well are very good in the sack and some even asked if i want a girl friend...but the mental aspect is what i don't want... i tell them we can have a physical relationship but mental part, i don't have time for.  they respect that b/c at least i am truthful.  but if i wanted to go to the next level there are at least 2 chicks that would be willing...

having the different phone card seem like can avoid the issues of being caught...but i tell my bros...there is and WILL be a time that you trip up and make a mistake...it will happen at the most time when you are least expecting...trust me...i am very very careful and i almost made a mistake recently.

take heed bros...a er nai sounds good, but it is a lot of work...which most of us do not have the time or patience for...

What do people pay to keep one?  I read someone quoting 5k/month plus an apartment and some other figures.  On the higher side, I know an ex-WG, who was quite popular on this site, who is now a "er-nai" in SZ.  She gets a stipend of 30k HKD per month and I will not vouch for her maintaining her exclusivity for her benefactor.