1. The FEMALE always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject change at any time without prior notification.

3. No MALE can possibly know all The Rules.

4. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all THE RULES she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The FEMALE is never wrong.

6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did wrong.

7. When rule 6 applies, the MALE must apologise IMMEDIATELY for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The FEMALE can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The MALE must NEVER change his mind without express written consent from the FEMALE.

10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.

12. Under no circumstances must the FEMALE let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The MALE is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The MALE who doesn?t abide by THE RULES can?t take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

16. If the FEMALE has PMT, all THE RULES are null and void.

17. The MALE must not like or be nice to anyone the FEMALE doesn?t.

18. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready. The MALE must be ready at all times.