Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Oliver Stone:
The question is not: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" But is rather: "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Bill Clinton:
It wasn't me. I wasn't chasing the chicken. There was no inappropriate relationship between me and the chicken.

Newt Gingrich
Because the Chicken was kicked out of the coop.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the hell was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Immanuel Kant:
The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.

Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Bob Richardson
Cause he ain't in it fer the hunten! *See Bill Clinton...

Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads, balance your checkbook, and solve your Y2K problem.

Colonel Sanders of KFC:
What? I missed one?