Somebody asked about sex with a Domestic Helper ... this is relevant ...

Yeah, this thread

http://forum.sex141.com/eforum/v ... &extra=page%3D2

BTW just for the record - not convinced your decision to close the other thread was the best one Hunt ...

For my $0.02 I like that we can discuss edgy matters in a frank and open way - getting all the views that matter on the table.  It's a really good antidote to prejudice, bigotry, hypocrisy etc.  I don't mind discussing stuff I would not do myself, especially if it creates the opportunity to inject a little sanity in the actions of people who are probably going to do whatever they're going to do regardless of what we think.  

Although it's seriously risky to have sex with employees, as long as it is consensual it's neither illegal nor is it unusual.  

Rape is entirely another matter.

But consensual sex - paid or unpaid - should not be put in the same category as sexual harassment.

[ Last edited by  DArtagnan at 26-3-2009 11:21 ]

I do not want ppl to think that the forum condones to this kind of stuff.
See what happen to the lastest news........

Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm not clear what "kind of stuff" you're referring to?  I think we owe it to the members to be specific so they understand where your taboos lie ...

The whole notion of hiring a "sex slave/housekeeper" seems like mongering for the weak.

If you're too scared of getting in trouble, or rejected, etc. Then you shouldn't be out there at all. Trying to hire a poor women to prey upon (consensual or not) because they want to monger under perceived "controlled" conditions seems like a contemptuous way to behave. Make no mistake there isn't any way for this situation to NOT be sexual harassment. Women working as maids don't have many choices, so targeting them for sex can't be considered consensual since as their employer you have total power over the girl.

If you really want a housekeeper/sex partner, then take the time to get a girlfriend and ask her to move in with you. Hiring a maid to be around all the time and be the target of unwanted advances is a horrible way to go.

So I guess the message to those of you that are considering this foolhardy idea is to MAN UP and just visit the WGs like the rest of us. Hiding your mongering doesn't change the fact at all that you're doing it, and forcing yourself on domestic help is just being mean. If these "maids" wanted to earn money this way they would be WGs!

-G

So let;s leave it to the floor discuss the "stuff".

Personally, the idea of getting a "Maid" to be a sex partner is very disturbing. Why not resort to finding a real wife or GF or Lover or mistress. Why the Maid?

[ Last edited by  hunter at 27-3-2009 11:47 ]

DA is not promoting the idea, he's just saying that having an open discussion is healthy.

Then discuss.

that was exactly my point.  The Forum was denied the debate, and I appreciate your openness to allow it.  Thanks.  

I know what I think - and giving space to others' views does not mean I agree - and I believe that if we communicate we all get smarter.  So in that sense, as fast a
s I am to slam a dangerous or ill-considered comment, I'd rather see a dumb posting and respond than suppress it.

But I do have great difficulty distinguishing morally between taking a "second wife" - which a lot of people do in China ...  
taking a string of mistresses - which wealthy people like Stanley Ho seem to do in the same spirit they buy expensive cars and racehorses ...
and negotiating with someone from another even poorer country to give her a stable income in exchange for sexual care and attention.  

I'm not condoning anyone's actions, not casting a vote either for or against,

but I'm not condemning their opinions either.  

Where's the dividing line?
What is OK what is not?

Why?

There is always several levels to discern what is ok or not, if you want a simple black and white answer you can just say what is legally acceptable.

But then for those cases that are legal, like having a wife and multiple girfriends/mistress then it is really up to the persons own morality and whether he cares for the acceptance of his peers and of course if his wives/misstress care.

The example of Stanley Ho is quite interesting....obviously he doesn't seem to care what his peers think...

I beleive the average person in the street doesn't anybody here ever sit down and think about how Stanley Ho is a depraved man and how disgusting he is?  The thought probably has never come accross the average person's mind....why? because of celebrity status and the fact that he is not personally connected in some way to the person who is contemplating his morality.

On the other hand if the average person was to discover that one of their friends or family members is doing the same then the situation would probably give rise to some strong emoitions on the issue.

I think Sir Hunt perhaps doesn't like maid costumes.  

FWIW, I think it's a stupid idea; I mean, literally, she can be a perfectly good cleaning woman but then be horrible in bed.  Then what?  Do you fire her because she sucks in bed but does a perfectly great job of cleaning the house?  What about if she sues you?  Then what?  And what if you want to punt?  Does she get upset?  Jealous?  It's a bad bad idea.

I don't condone it, but this is a very gray area.  I wouldn't call the cops on someone who has a housekeeper who puts out.  As long as they're both ok with it, and there's not even a semblance of coercion, intimidation, etc.  If there's any forcing or unwillfulness going on, then I'd call the cops right away.

I see. What about ex-WGs or mamasans who do a perfectly good job of cooking, etc?
Could be quite gray I would imagine...

Agree, it looks very grey to me ...

What IS the difference between a girl who came to HK on a visitor visa, and another who came with a work visa?  

If each of them then exchanges sexual favours for money, how do you distinguish between them?

Then it's more of a relationship or you're a FB or pseudo-bf.  If you pay the gal for cleaning your house and sex, then that's completely different.  Basically, I think helping yourself to the domestic helper is not good.

FWIW, I would never date a ex-WG.  Maybe if I was their first customer..    hehe

You don't.  They're both WGs in the literal sense.  Especially in HK because of the rules with WGs and visas.

Maid is maid (domestic helper / servant)....where does SEX come into the definitation? IF they want to earn money from Sexual exchange, they become WGs. Once they step over the line, they are WG and no longer a Maid. But if affectiion and love is involved, then you can proceed treating as ur better half.

We should treat Maid in accordance to their define work tasks and contract definition (if the contract says you can also fcuk her, then WTF!!! and u can shoot me ) and treat them as one.

If I want someone to be loved and loved, I find a partner.
If I want someone to take care of my chores, I find a MAID.
If I want someone to to take care of my dick (short term fun), I find a WG or FB.

... eliminating the possibility that there might be someone who can be a partner, do your chores AND take care of your dick!

Teasin' you bro!  

Messing with anyone who has a contract of employment is playing with .  Great way to make the headlines.  

But if you think about it: why are there so few good-looking maids around?  

here's a hint: it's not because they don't want the money,
and it's not because they can earn well at home,
nor is it because they can't get a job ... they're even taught to cut their hair short so as to avoid making mrs employer feel vulnerable ...

it's because coming to HK is a well-trodden path to a dependent's visa somewhere outside their home country.  The ones that stay working long term are the ones that didn't make the cut.

Visitor visa gal can just leave you whenever she wants.....

Work Visa gal is tied to you via a contract... if you fire her she has to leave.