A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married.

Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested.

"If you want to cancel the wedding, then I'll understand," she said.

The guy remarked, "I don't mind that you're flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also had a confession to make.

The reason that they have not been too intimate is because he is just like a baby below the waist.

The girl remarked, "I don't mind that like a baby below the waist, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

And so, the happy couple went on to Vegas and got married.

On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes. True to her word, she is as flat as a washboard.

Then, the guy took off his clothes. After one glance at his naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

When she regained consciousness, the guy said, "I told you before we got married, so why were you so surprised?"

"You told me it was just like a baby."

The guy replied, "It is! 8 pounds and 21 inches long!"

A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz.

"behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. what is it?" she asked.

"an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking."

"I've now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it." "An apple," replied little Ian

"No it's an onion, but it shows your thinking."

Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says
"I've got something under my desk that's an inch long, white and it has a red end."

"Dirty little boy," said the teacher

"No it's a match, but it shows your thinking," he answered.

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.

He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"