What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

Why do hunters make the best lovers?
Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years the job still sucks.

What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

Why is the space between a women’s breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
"Cos it doesn’t need cleaning yet.