Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a fucking slut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, 'cause after I get done fucking you in the back of my car, I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: So that's how you got that little mustache.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always shoot it on your back.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me, as long as you are still a little warm when I shove it in your ass.

lol...
gotta remember some of these... they will come in handy!