An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.

Upon her return, her father cursed her.

Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us at all? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute."

"Ye what!!? Get out, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace!"

"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a 10 bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."

"For me brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the brand new Mercedes convertible that's parked outside, a membership to the country club, an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and a new..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. The girl, crying again, "A prostitute!

"Oh! Ye scared me to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.