Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he f**ks her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy f**ks.

People in the 70's couldn't f**k unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those tits are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of s**t out of you if you
shove your c**k in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients c**ks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily p**sed off before f**king both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's c**k, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a c**k there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other
proudly on his hip.

The highlights :

Women always orgasm when men do.

There's a plot.

Men always pull out.

Women never have headaches.

Men don't have to beg.

    

Dammit; I do that.    

very funny - and accurate - about the porno films that is!

When giving a blowjob, girls like their heads to be grabbed and fucked hard till they make a disgusting gargling sound.  What the fuck is up with that now?  Sounds like some mythical animal.

And Japanese women love sucking cock through tighty whiteys.