This is MY OPINION, I don't need any flaming because this comes from my experiences

Married women are the best targets, they have as much to lose as you do and more likely than not, wanting to try something new.  The big dilemma is the same as ours, where to find a safe, disease free partner at the highest discretion.

My first clue usually are tattoos, if she does have tattoos, I like to see if they are out in the open or hidden.  Tattoos on the hand, arm and or ankles are the best.  I mean, this doesn't mean you can go right up to them and say "you wanna fuck?"  I tend to befriend them, and then isolate them from the husband.  I can't be friends with him regardless, if I do, then I won't chase his wife.

You have to establish a "friendship", first with just plain platonic talk, weather, media news, kids, food, etc...  once comfortable you can test the waters lightly.  There are plenty of "on the line" talk and plenty of "on the line" behaviors, meaning the line between acquaintances and or something more.  You can't just jump into it, you have to be careful unless you know for sure that you can cut that cord and never worry about her ever, then you can be a bit more aggressive but most "targets" are not that detached from your real life.

I'm going to throw in a story about how I got away with getting some on the side, the excitement of it and getting away with it.

This one started a few years ago.  There was a restaurant that I frequented to buy food.  The owner was an acquaintance, I did not know her son who seldom stayed at the restaurant but her daughter in law was working there.  She was imported from Guangzhou, definitely not a country bumpkin, she knows her way around the world but I'm guessing she married to get out of China.

Week after week, I purposely did NOT call in my order and would just go there to order food so I could chat with her.  She had a nice tattoo on her hand as well as her upper shoulder as I found out later.  She would disappear 1 or 2 months at a time.  I later found out she was always going back to China.  At that point, our conversations got deeper, we would have our "moments" but nothing totally showing until one month I had to stay in China.  She asked me where I went, I said China, she said OH... you go back too?  She asked me to tell her the next time I went so that we can "have tea" in China.  She made an "opening" it was not explicit, it was subtle but enough for me to finally make my move.  It was apparent I wasn't going to fuck her in China, too many hot chicks I could pay for that.

One afternoon, I happened to be totally free and decided to go there for lunch.   She was leaving and told me she was off that day, only there to pick up something.  I told her I was off too, I asked her if she wanted to have lunch.  I purposely picked somewhere "far" and "away" from the Chinese community.  Her eyes "understood" and I drove an hour away to have a nice private lunch.  It happens to be that there are many hotels up and down this certain highway.

She sat right next to me as we ate "close" Legs touching, arms brushing and just chatting and laughing away.  At this point, things were finally made clear without "jumping into anything immediate"  As we played the game, I told her I was tired and needed to rest, she said the same so we went to a motel to "rest"  Once in the room, we made out like teenagers, clothes started coming off and kissed for a good 30 mins while groping one another.  I had condoms on me, but at that point she had already climbed onto me and my dick slipped into her incredibly wet pussy.  We fucked for a good 3 hours with a 1 hour nap.  This went on for a good few months until her family started to get suspicious.  We don't see one another anymore, phone numbers erased and emails deleted.

Just last week I saw her holding her husband and kids.  eh... that's the way the cookie crumbles, but this woman fell right into my theory and hypothesis on which women are best to try to bag.

I have a few more stories, just not that much time.

More interesting than reports on WG..certainly unique...!

No flaming from me!  I appreciate the tale.  (er, tail?) hehe.

BUT -- your post makes me wonder about the "no-civvies rule" that was somewhat strictly enforced before the latest forum-changes.  I gotta hunch in this new "Talk is Cheap" section we might just be allowed to truly talk about ANYTHING (as the description states) but in the past any specific talk of picking up civvies was forbidden.

We'll see.

I just landed myself a divorced Fuckbuddy here in LA.  A Chinese gal, a little younger than me, (but obviously looks much younger in typical asian style.)  A fit gal and a very, very good fuck!  Horny gal!  The last time we're at it for a while, (yeah, Bareback too.... still stupid, even with civvies) and she jumps off and sucks me till I blow in her mouth.  Every drop.  God Damn that was fun!

But I don't enjoy her company.  After sex I politely kick her out... ("gotta work early, baby").

I wont go into the whole tale, but what is interesting is how we got to this point.  She was after a boyfriend - something a lot more serious.  But from the get-go, during our first nite of sex, I told her how "bad" I was.  She still tried to be "clingy", and I would shoot her down gently...  "I am not boyfriend material.., trust me on this, but I do want to make you cum all over my dick again!"  She laughed uncomfortably.., this is clearly new terrain for her, being a fuckbuddy.  (Or at least KNOWLINGLY being a fuck-buddy.  Versus some guy who is just stringing her along).  I dont want to go dining with her, dont want to go for drinks.  None of that.  I want her to come over after dinner, screw her silly for a few hours, and send her home.  

Just this past week she has come to this full realization.  Our relationship is in bed.  That's it, nothing more.  It remains to be seen how long she'll accept it.   She loves the sex.  She cums a lot.  She likes to cum (who doesnt?) but I can tell hates the "moral-wrongness" (in her mind) of just fucking me.  We'll see.

I agree with southstar, definitly unique. Would like to see more of those stories.

Talk about almost anything ... the operative word is almost !  

If discussions leads to specific civies it will not be allowed under any circumstances,
I'm not sure about talking about civies in general so I will let this thread continue for the time being

Have you checked the kids to see whether any of them look like you?

Excellently done ... beautifully ambiguous and deniable every step of the way

Girls move much faster if they feel THEY are the one making the moves

The subtlety is in stoking the fires
and rest assured, girls are very good at reading unstated cues, much better than guys are, so she already knows!
and then walking away
which makes her wonder if she's still attractive or not, and makes her want to find out

She'll do the rest: handle her doubts, come up with a rationalisation why it's OK with you, create an alibi (for herself), tell you she's available, and (ultimately) rip your clothes off

Okay.. I thought I would add a little adendum to my fuckbuddy situation.  I knew it was unstable (her first time ever trying it.  And being just a "sex-toy" for someone doesnt always sit well.  (well, with women anyway; I don't mind it at all!!)).

I have not seen her in a week (I've been travelling)...   but we've sms'ed and shared jokes and such (she knows about a billion jokes.  And 2 are actually good.  Most are 30-years-old!  Damn, she's a bore!!).  One more reason why I only want to see her in bed.  ("can you please stop talking now?")

Ahem.  Anyway.

After a couple rounds of sex-jokes via sms I bring up the topic of our last nite together (sexually awesome!  She can screw, and she cums a lot!!).  So, I am now trying to build to getting her over for tonite.  It leads, as hoped, to the proper opening for me to tell her I am horny for her and I invite her over.

She responds with another old generic but very dirty sex-joke.  

Grrr.  I say "Funny, you talk sex jokes, while I talk real sex.  I gotta hunch you feel bad about us?  What's up?".

She responds, "No, not at all, what is bad about sex?"  (my thinking exactly).  "Sex with you is too too good!  (ahh, good to hear)  But I like it better when it follows dancing".

Damn.  

This was her way of saying, "I want you to take me out, enjoy an evening together (dancing or dining or whatever) and THEN we'll hit your room and you can bang me silly".

No.  I just don't want to endure that.  I truly dont have time for her except in bed... and I DO realize that is asking an awful lot from a civvie gal.  But this is the essence of what a fuckbuddy is.

I say, "No worries.  Another nite then... be well sweetie"

Ummm, I think it was received as a bit of a kick in the teeth.   She never responded.  

But, I had no choice.  I was honest with her from day one and I did not want to fake a relationship with her.  Better the truth of it all is known by all and let the outcome come as it may.  

So, we'll see what happens.

I gotta hunch in a day or two (or three) she'll message me asking if I am free for the nite.  I dont think this one will last long, but I do think she'll want to get laid one more time before she bolts.  

That said:  now that she's tried this role, I bet the next guy who gets her will have a much longer fuckbuddy-relationship!  I can see she's still trying on this role to see how it fits.  I KNOW she loves sex.  But just hasnt quite crossed over to the idea that "just sex" can be okay too.

[ Last edited by  wander at 15-1-2013 13:11 ]

... she will still get back to you !!!  Loose no hope bro. You are the carnal conqueror & bestower.

Women are very good at rationalizing away any ethical/moral situation and the divorced women are the masters of this womenly art.

If the sexual chemistry is very good and strong, a girl will rationalize becoming a once-awhile sex buddy with no strings attached as something similar to doing yoga. Women are very much into taking care of their body and health and will eventually rationalize a sex session as something she is doing to maintain her psychological and physical health.

Just like she doesn't do yoga with any instructor she doesn't click with, the same she will not be sleeping around, she will want you...her favorite yoga instructor (sex buddy).

And what makes divorced women especially the masters of all this rationalizing to fulfill their needs, is that they surprise me everytime they are willing to sleep with a guy who has a SO even though part of the reason they got divorced in the first place is their ex-hubby had an affair on the side. They hate that óther' woman but yet they themselves are so willing(begging) to be the 3rd wheel.

So as you surmise, she will come begging for you soon.

ps: I wished I learned all this mental shit about women when I was younger. Everything only became clear to me after I hit 40yo. Yet as a guy I could never rationalize stuff as well as the girls.

Oh and another thing, I think one of the reasons women are better at hiding their affairs is because of all the rationalizing that takes place in their head. There is no squirming when denying or lying about an affair because it was not an illicit affair but a normal yoga workout that women do all the time.

[ Last edited by  doghead at 15-1-2013 15:03 ]

Women can hide it better because they always have a better control of the situation if and only if they knew what they wanted from the start.  Men on the other hand can not differentiate sex and love as well as they can.  That's why affairs are so much more dangerous for men than for women.  I mean, you'll get a story about a woman going nuts once in a while but most of the time we are the ones that can't control our emotions.  

First time affairs for guys are the worst, it's very easy to put your heart into at that point but once you've learned that love isn't lust, you can differentiate better.  I fell into that trap once, I broke free after many experiences and of course lots of time to think about what I did wrong.  Now I have total control.  Perhaps that is just me.  

It's the same with cigarettes.  I used to be a heavy addict, 2-3 packs a day, could not stop smoking no matter what.  When I finally "figured it out" I quit the habit completely but whenever I went to Asia I would enjoy my smokes , maybe 2 weeks at a time but once I left and came back to the states, I didn't even have withdrawal symptoms.  Why?  

Because I figured it out, same with pussy, you can go out and enjoy it all, enjoy the te bie and lovey dovey feelings but once you leave, you need to leave it all behind and don't let those withdrawal symptoms catch back up with you.  This goes for affairs as well as mongering, why monger if you don't put your heart into it!?  I love my girls, whether they are FWBs or hookers, either way at that specific moment I am in love with them.

Well, I was precisely right.  It took two days.

She sms's me today at about 7pm.

"Hi.  Been thinking about you.  How r u?"

"Good.  Just finsihed work.  Relaxing with a glass a wine.  Come over."

"ok"



I run down to get some wine and snacks.

She's there pronto.

I expect (well, not expect, but worry) that she's gonna start with some deep conversation and get heavy and all that...  about love, about being a good girl, whatever.

Nope.

We kiss and hug at the front door and her hands are groping my ass and cock within seconds.

Yay!!!

We fuck.

We relax and chat.  (a good chat this time..., I am actually warming to her... maybe because she isnt pretending and trying to impress me anymore..., just being herself.)  Possible.

We snuggle then she bends over and starts sucking my dick so damn well; looks up at me and says "fuck me again?"

"Yes, baby..."   

And so we do.  A long, long, long while. Hell, if she is gonna break her "code" and agree to be my fuckbuddy I am bloody well gonna make her happy she did!  I fucked and sucked her about as long and hard/gentle/smooth/crazy/funny/sensual/whatever... as I have ever done!  I was actually getting worn out.., but kept at it cause I wanted her to remember why she came over...   Keep it in mind for the next time!  Not that all this wasnt fun for me.  hehe.  Damn, I had a rolling good time!  (tired though!!)

Now this gal does not swear.  But when we're done she says, "fuck..., you fuck me soooo well!".  

And then she starts the motions to crawl into bed for the nite.  Grrrrr.

Now, I Know I could enjoy a morning round.  I could just let it be....  but No.

I said it before.  I am just not there with her.  I dont want this getting heavy in any way at all.

So I say, before she could crawl under the sheets, "Awe babe..., look at the time!  OMG!  Gotta work early..., you know I can only fall alseep when alone."

It took a second for her to "re-align" to the reality.  But boom...  she did.  Didnt argue at all.  We flirted and played as she dressed and ripped my shorts down one more time at the door playfully.  And left.

I know the sudden departure wasnt cool.  But I am thinking she's starting to think this whole fuckbuddy thing aint so bad!  She's single.., doesnt have a steady BF to keep her satisfied, and doesnt gotta ruin her reputation by bringing different guys home all the time --- yet she can still get her rocks off when she wants.  Discretely.  

Anyway.  We'll see.

For now.  It is working out well.

Oh.. Isabelle (my latina-stripper friend) is coming over tomorrow, so that will be fun.   And YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN the thai massage gal I met yesterday!  Fuck me, she is stunning  A totally veggie massage I got from her, but it was still sensual.  Kinda just on-the-edge of being naughty.  Fun.  And she is drop-dead-gorgeous.  And we chatted a lot.  Just 3 months here.  Perfect.  My God!  She's not become Western yet.  I DID get her digits and already asked her out.  We'll see.

I think you just switched her to playing the long game.  And she has fun while doing it.  Good luck with Thai babe!

How much is a veggie Thai massage in LA? Its about $100/hr and up here.  After the 200 baht aunties it seems so overpriced.

$100/hr??  for a veggie massage?  can't be.  

A normal veggie thai massage here in LA, depending the place, is $40 - $60 for an hour.  And a $40  tip is expected, it seems, for a happy ending.

The place i just discovered, the last three times, has had 3 different, but each quite beautiful thai gals!  I  mean they were HOT!!!  And all were a little older (Ie:  they may have been 30 even though they looked 25).  But sexy as hell in typical thai style.  One was frickn gorgeous!  I tried like hell to get her digits.  I did......  and just asked her out tonite.  We'll see if I can get anywhere.

I am getting the sense that it doesnt take long for a hot Asian to realize she"s got some game in america, so they change quick into the typical western broad.   So act fast!!!!

So an update on "maintaining" a pure fuck-buddy relationship.  I've said before that these relationships are inherently unstable - one member always wants more out of it than the other.

I've seen Judy weekly since December.  She's a weird, annoying, oddball Chinese gal - but with a great ass and is damn fun in bed (I'll explain why later).  But I truly cannot stand her company once sex is done.  So I kick her out shortly thereafter.

She's always wanted more - a "real" relationship, and I have done and said everything with total, brutal honesty to let her know this won't EVER happen:  "No dinner, I only want to fuck you..." or "I am NOT your boyfriend, you are not my girlfriend, just a sextoy, okay?" etc.  Etc.  I HAD to be so brutal just to keep things on that "no-strings" page.

It still didn't work.  She shows up at my door one nite last week, unannounced!  Calling me, hounding me to take her out.  Grrrrr...  I sent her way without screwing her. (can't set a precedent that this shit is okay).

I SMS her later (I never call her). "Look Judy, you are a sweet woman, but I don't want a girlfriend, ANY girlfriend!  I like fucking you... That's it.  And I know you like fucking me too.  But if you can't handle this kind of relationship than we must quit right now.  I respect you and your choices - I will wish you all the best and much joy if this is your choice.  But you NEED to respect my choices as well.  Or I can't see you again."

So... She replies saying "Okay, we must say goodbye then.. Thx for your honesty -- this is new territory for me.  I am happy I met you, such good sex, but I need more.  Goodbye.".  

"Okay" I reply, "Bye babe, thanks and much luck and joy to you".

Ahhh, but I doubted it was actually over.  Hehe.

This morning she sms's again.  "Dammit, you are so damn good in bed, and I am soo horny!".

I smile...  And reply, "You see?  This is not a bad deal, right?  Come over now."

She does.  I barely say 5 words to her when she enters my room - I just stripped her bare, plunged my tongue into her pussy, and then fucked her senseless for an hour.  (And cummed all over her face and tits and mouth).  Oh -- don't think this was a lack of respect on my part -- she LOVES it.

I mentioned I absolutely enjoy fucking her..  here's why:

It's a bit of a new situation.  She is a "good girl"; always has been.  Married young for quite a while, recently divorced, and has slept with no more than 3 or so guys in her entire life.  And always very primly, it seems.  Missionary, finish, sleep.  But she totally wants me to treat her like a complete slut!  It took a few times together to realize it, but it became clear that the nastier I spoke and acted the more she got off.  She would open the door, I would grab her, lift her skirt, pull her panties down, bend her over the table and bang her right there before a word was spoken --- and her knees would go weak in orgasm as it happens.  Or I would pull out and slide my dick in her mouth as I blew my load and say "suck me till I explode down your throat" or something like that.  And she would.

She would be completely submissive to ANYTHING I wanted to do -- the sluttier the better.  Clearly, she had never acted this way before, and she loved it (perhaps shamefully or reluctantly).  But not 5 minutes would pass after my orgasm when she would be groping and sucking to get me going again.  And telling me, barely above a whisper, what she wanted me to do to her.  I could understand maybe half of what she said as it was said so quietly and often in chinese.., but I got the jist --- "baby... please use my body again, fuck me crazy and cum all over me...".  Stuff like that...  

So.., as I said earlier, sex with her is truly damn good!

Anyway... let's get back to today.

Finally, we finish this morning and, as usual, I just want her to get the hell out.  But, once again, she is whiny and wants to stay.  Grrrrrr.  Anyway, I kick her out.  It was difficult and un-fun...  I dont like being insensitive to women (especially one willing to let me have my way with her) but I really dont like talking to her.   
Anyway as of now, I still have her as a fuckbuddy.  We'll see for how long.  The conversations are getting brutal enough that I cant see it lasting much longer.  We'll see.

[ Last edited by  wander at 3-3-2013 09:32 ]