misteryoso8
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Post at 2-10-2011 01:41  Profile P.M. 
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Sex Workouts (With Calorie Count!)

Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...


REMOVING CLOTHES         
With partner's consent...        12 calories
Without partner's consent...        187 calories
         
UNHOOKING BRA         
Using two calm hands...        7 calories
Using one trembling hand...        36 calories
         
GETTING INTO BED         
Lifting partner...        1.5 calories
Dragging partner along floor...        16 calories
Using skateboard...        3 calories
         
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS         
For normal healthy man...        2.5 calories
Losing erection...        14 calories
Searching for it...        115 calories
         
PUTTING ON CONDOM         
With erection...        1.5 calories
Without erection...        300 calories
         
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM         
If the woman who does it is:         
Experienced...        6 calories
Inexperienced...        73 calories
If a man does it...        650 calories
Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.         
         
POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS         
Bouncing...        7 calories
Sliding around...        9 calories
Serious skidding...        12 calories
Whiplash...        27 calories
         
ORGASM         
Real...        27 calories
Faked...        160 calories
         
ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE         
Shoes flew off...        35 calories
Expression didn't change...        0.5 calories
Orchestra swelled...        6 calories
Birds sang:         
Large birds...        7 calories
Small birds...        3 calories
Earth moved...        30 calories
         
PULLING OUT         
After orgasm...        0.5 calories
A few moments before orgasm...        500 calories
         
PENIS ENVY         
For woman...        3 calories
For men...        72 calories
         
GUILT         
Banging your boss for a promotion...        30 calories
Sex during a 'sickie'...        10 calories
Bonking each other with parents in other room...        7 calories
Putting it on your expense account...        9 calories
         
AGGRAVATION         
Partner keeps showing plant...        5 calories
Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay...        14 calories
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time...        10 calories
Partner is taking phone calls...        7 calories
Partner is making phone calls...        40 calories
         
GETTING CAUGHT         
By partner's spouse...        60 calories
By your spouse...        100 calories
Trying to explain...        55 calories
Trying to remain calm...        100 calories
Leaping out of bed...        75 calories
Getting dressed in one motion...        500 calories
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bruce.p.chan
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Post at 8-10-2011 11:34  Profile P.M. 
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Very entertaining joke.  I enjoyed it.  Thanks!
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angelfong
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Post at 1-11-2011 08:59  Profile P.M. 
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Hahahaha thanks a lot for sharing bro. Hilarious
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carbonlist
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Post at 22-11-2011 02:32  Profile P.M. 
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awesome, thanks for sharing bro.
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Cooliti
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Post at 23-11-2011 22:04  Profile P.M. 
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Very educational haha.... And very funny
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xiamentiger
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Post at 11-12-2011 04:12  Profile P.M. 
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Good joke.  Now I know what to do if I want to lose weight.
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tapebusuk
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Post at 19-12-2011 22:54  Profile P.M. 
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i've tried to lose my weight the wrong way,hahaha...
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imperfect
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Post at 17-2-2012 14:33  Profile P.M. 
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hahaha very nice!!! Thanks for sharing
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RFRichard
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Post at 23-2-2012 17:13  Profile P.M. 
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hahahah hilarious, thanks bro

Recent Ratings
rickangel   23-2-2012 17:17  Acceptance  +1   Favorable
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rokodong
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Post at 26-2-2012 22:13  Profile P.M. 
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SEX is absolutely good for your health but bad for your wallet
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vincenza8
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Post at 5-4-2012 02:59  Profile P.M. 
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great post i will try this !!!
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thekidz
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Post at 5-4-2012 09:01  Profile P.M. 
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lol that's very creative. you've got a good attention to detail
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