My boss pulled up at work in a brand new BMW and I couldn't help admiring it.
He told me if I work hard and put in the hours he could have an even better one next year.
========================================================
A man receives the following text message from his neighbour.
"I'm so sorry, Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess that
I've been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around.
In fact, more than you! I'm not getting any at home,
but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt,
and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise
that it will not happen again. If you want, I will pay you for the services".

The man, mad with rage, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun,
and without a word, shot his wife dead.

A few moments later, a second text came in.
"Damn auto correct! I meant for your ' W I F I  ' not your 'WIFE'".

========================================================

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals
went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell "I hope you get better".
One elderly gentleman replied "I hope you get better, too".

========================================================

[ Last edited by  Thai-delight at 27-11-2015 23:23 ]