Afcoms Joke thread
(I thought id post my jokes in this thread to make it neater)
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following.
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time".
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine!" retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country...we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm justa tellin' my frinda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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Telephone conversation goes:
"Hello, is this the police?
"Yes it is. How can we help you?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Peter. He's hiding cocaine inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call."
The next day, police officers descend on Peter's house in great numbers. They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine. They swear at Peter and leave.
The phone rings at Peter's house:
"Hey, Peter. Did the cops come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop up your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, maaaaate!!!!"
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