kaleu
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Post at 13-10-2010 11:39  Profile P.M. 
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Business question - non monger

Since this has little to do with mongering I am putting it in the chat section.

When you go out on a business dinner or drinks (as is common in China) with a company representative you don't know, who picks up the check?

In the US it would be the person who initiated the meeting.  But I know things can be a bit different in China.  Would it be the still be the person who initiated the meeting?  The person who has the most to gain from the meeting?  The "local" as opposed to the guest?  How much of an effort should be made to pick up the tab before it is just seen as rude?

If one person buys dinner and then the meeting progresses to a bar and then a KTV, is the same person on the hook for the whole night's tab?
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atomic3d
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Post at 13-10-2010 11:43  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 kaleu's post

When I was in mainland China it was always the inviter, not the invitee that paid. There was never any question of splitting the bill as is often the case here and I suspect if you insisted too much on paying, the inviter might feel that he had lost face.
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markreyes
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Post at 13-10-2010 11:53  Profile P.M. 
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I would look at this from a net worth point of view as well.

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has more money than you, then he will definitely pay.

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has more money than you, but you need something from him, you should offer to pay (which may or may not be declined by the host .. just play it by ear)

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has less money than you, then he should pay, but if he doesn't, you may be left to pick up the tab.  You should not initiate the payment unless it becomes obvious he is not paying.

If the person inviitng you to dinner/drinks has less money than you, then he may pay, but if you need something from him (reason for the meeting) then you should pay.

This works in reverse if you the one inviting.

A general rule of thumb is, when you are inviting, you should pay.

If you are invited, just play it by ear, you'll know by body language if you are expected to pay.

If you are going from dinner, bar, then club, sometimes it's good to offer to pay for the next activity if the other person has paid.  You will either be rebuffed or welcomed ... no problems.

Personally, if my guest or friend picks up the check, i will offer to pay once, perhaps twice depending on the people involved.  If it is refused, I will put away my wallet and suggest another acitivity, either immediately or another night soon that I will pay for.  This is safe.  I generally do not advocate arguing about the bill in a public place, many people dislike this as it makes them lose face and look poor ior stingy n front of strangers.
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kaleu
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Post at 13-10-2010 13:03  Profile P.M. 
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by markreyes at 13-10-2010 11:53
I would look at this from a net worth point of view as well.

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has more money than you, then he will definitely pay.

If the person inviting you to dinner/dr ...

Can I get this in a Powerpoint presentation?  

They have more money than me.  I initiated the contact, but they initiated the meeting, so it's a little blurry who is really doing the inviting.  I will get more out of it than they will.  So I guess I should pay.  Thanks for the reassurance.
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markreyes
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Post at 13-10-2010 13:08  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #4 kaleu's post

In that context, you are the one looking for something, so I would advise you to try and pay.  I'm assuming this is just coffee, dinner, drinks or whatever, so it should not be substantial.

If you encounter massive resistance when you try and pay, I would put up a little bit of fight, but back down if they are very insistent.  Then offer to take them, over the weekend or next week etc, to some nice restaurant you heard about.
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haroldla
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Post at 13-10-2010 18:03  Profile P.M. 
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i think if it is a business drinks/dinner, it is usually the boss or non-client to pay. otherwise if both size are equal status and do not have business involved, than usually the inviter to pay or split the bill.
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twiceAweek
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Post at 13-10-2010 18:10  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #6 haroldla's post

In China, dealings with local Chinese ... one NEVER split the bill !!!


kaleu - you want business from them - you pay the bill + other entertainment
if you're dealing with gov officials MAKE SURE YOU PAY under any circumstances !!!
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TonyToro
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Post at 13-10-2010 19:24  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 kaleu's post

Don't worry so much about who initiated the meeting, the seller will usually pay for buyer Bro. If you are buying from the Mainland people, they will want to pay. Especially if you are the one who travelled to see them.  If you are selling to them, you should try and pay.

As Twice says, GOVT Officials NEVER Pay!
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kaka (YaYa PaPaYa)
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Post at 13-10-2010 19:26  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 kaleu's post

no need to think so much....
in china... just ALWAYS OFFER to pay..
it doesn't matter who pay in the end...
just make sure everyone sees you taking out your wallet and fight for the bill.

trust me.

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scootermonger   16-10-2010 02:57  Acceptance  +1   yup, u got it right
Avatar   13-10-2010 22:15  Acceptance  +1   Soooooooo true.
TonyToro   13-10-2010 19:33  Acceptance  +1   so true!




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markreyes
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Post at 14-10-2010 03:03  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #9 kaka's post

I agree this is the right method for friends, relatives, etc.

However, in business, this can result in a lesser negotiation position if you are seen to offer to pay.  I've had it happen in earlier days in Manila, Thailand, and in Hong Kong.  

In most dealings, your advice is straight-forward and very correct.  But, if your company is in the better business position, this can lead to you not closing the best possible deal you may have been able to negotiate.
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kaka (YaYa PaPaYa)
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Post at 14-10-2010 11:45  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #10 markreyes's post

in china, it's all abt relationship. "GuanXi"

this is regardless of business position.

when i pay for my customers' entertainment... i want to impress them.
when i pay for my suppliers' entertainment... i want them to owe me a favour.

so either way, i offer to pay.

business superiority during dinner-time only exists with government officials.
so if u are a businessman u are still expected to pay..


and i haven't even start on the etiquettes of china graft.
first rule is... always pay for everything.

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DaBestHK   14-10-2010 13:23  Acceptance  +1   agree




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markreyes
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Post at 14-10-2010 14:26  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #11 kaka's post

I'm not disagreeing with your points for mainland China, my experience there is a little more limited than in other parts of SE Asia.

The only point I'm trying to make is that in some situations, offering to pay is like bleeding in the water, you will be inviting sharks to come and eat you.
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chewie10
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Post at 14-10-2010 14:40  Profile P.M. 
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In the United States, it's going dutch or each person pay their own, or chips in in the power lunch with fellow workers.
When it's presentation, making deals with others, or meals with higher ups, I try to pay for it.
However if the management wants to smooth out relations they usually have either business pay for it, or
pay for it themselves.

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SEAJ   15-10-2010 17:12  Karma  -1   Quest is about China. Irrelevant
atomic3d   14-10-2010 15:47  Acceptance  -2   Irrelevant. Please read OP.
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kaka (YaYa PaPaYa)
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Post at 14-10-2010 18:23  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #12 markreyes's post

no no , i did not say u r wrong.
in fact your point is very valid in most countries.
i'm lucky that i seldom encounter such sharks in china.




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camstuckey
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Post at 15-10-2010 16:41  Profile P.M. 
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I agree, its usually paid by the person who has the most money. Although in chinese culture it's nice to offer to pay.
Have its all about face
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