A man has been shipwrecked on a desert island for ten years.  Then one day he is down at the shoreline when he spots a ship on the horizon.  He frantically waves his arms and jumps up and down shouting, until he spies a rowboat being let down into the water from the ship.  About ten minutes later the rowboat reaches the shore carrying a man in a captain's uniform.

"Thank Christ for that!" says our shipwrecked hero, "I thought I was never going to be rescued."

"How long have you been here?" asks the Captain.

"Ten years, ten long years" replies the man.

"Ten years?" says the Captain, "how have you coped all that time on your own?"

"You learn to adapt and survive, you have to."

"But ten years man, and ten years without sex, I couldnt have done that." says the Captain

"Ah well, that's not quite true" says the man shyly.

"What do you mean?" inquires the Captain.

"Well, about six months ago I was down here on the shore washing my feet, when I noticed an ostrich up the beach with it's head buried in the sand and it's arse facing me.  Well, I thought it's been nine and a half years, so I crept up behind it and WALLOP!"

"Ugh God, you fucked an ostrich up the arse without it knowing, sneaking up to it and catching it unawares??" cries the genuinely shocked Captain.

"Well I was desperate, i hadn't had sex in so long"

"But an ostrich, up the arse and without it knowing!! Jesus man, I have to ask, what was it like?" asks the Captain

"Well it was very nice for the first 500 metres!"