Subject: Questions about passing unwanted things to partner
lol123
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Post at 17-5-2009 22:49  Profile P.M. 
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Questions about passing unwanted things to partner

just a question, when you guys get things like BBBJ, or even protected sex with WG, how often do you get tested since you could very easily catch something and pass it on to your wife/gf/partner etc..

I'm guessing most guys with their wife or girlfriend dont use condoms (assuming the pill  or pull out method lol). So I was wondering how you guys handle this. I'd feel bad cheating my partner, but i'd feel even worse if i passed something to them.

Do you guys not bareback your partner then (I know the risk of catching something if you play safe is low to begin with though). But not doing so makes it sorta...obvious something is up no?

Thanks. Just want to play my life safe
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CanuckGuy
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Post at 18-5-2009 02:59  Profile P.M. 
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I have mongered all over the world, and being that I have allergies to penicillin, I have always been very careful with what I do and do not do.    I have some personal rules that have so far (knock on wood) kept me safe and sound.  Incidently, they have also helped me to avoid pretty much all of the major ripoffs that can happen (except for a nasty "sit down" fee in a night club in London England).

First and foremost, I avoid street meat.   No street corner pickups, nothing like that.  Streetwalkers are streetwalkers for reasons, and especially in a place like HK where the business is pretty simple hotel / room / walkup based, you have to wonder why a girl is working the streets only.   While it is a generalization that isn't true often enough, I can say that drugs, disease, emotional issue, or just being a front for a rip off / scam is pretty high on the list of potential problems.   Avoid them, and you avoid many of the hassles of life.

Second, be sensitive to the surroundings, the location, and the price.  Again, the cheapest providers are often cheap for different reasons.  While those reasons are often more to do with circumstance or performance than anything else, the cheapest settings are often the last stop before being on the street.   You get what you pay for.   If the building is in a shitty area, if there are plenty of lowlifes in the area, if the place is decrepit, then just turn and leave.  Same with the girl's room itself.  If the place is a mess, has bad odor, or appears that the girl might not be taking good care of herself, then leave and don't come back.  You likely dodged a bullet.

Third, pay attention to the girl.  You can very discretely look for things like needle marks (ugh!), signs of malnutrition, or illness (coughing, sniffing, wheezing).  If you see marks, warts, scratches, open sores, or any other obvious physical issues, run.  It isn't just STDs that can make your life suck.  Also, scan the room for obvious drug use, such as pipes, razor blades, etc.  

Fourth, use your nose.  If the girl smells bad, there might be a problem.  Sweaty odors can mean she isn't showering between clients, or even that she has a fever(!).  Rotten eggs, yeasty smells, or "shit smell" are all indications of potential illness.  This also extends to showering, if the girl doesn't want to come into the shower with you but you think she might need one, perhaps you should just pay her a knock down fee and head out the door.  If you can smell something bad, there is probably something bad.  Mouth wash and such is always a good touch for both of you!

Fifth, check out the real estate.  You can be subtle here, but check her zones for obvious things, like bumps, warts, scrapes, swelling, or other issues.  You can do this often with just rubbing your hand around the cookie, visually looking as you "enjoy" rubbing her body, etc.  Again, if you see something you don't like, don't be shy to pay a knock down fee and head out.

Always use a condom.  ALWAYS.  Be careful of overly tight (way too small) asian condoms, especially if you are over 5 inches long / 1.5 inches around.  Some of those things are so tight that you are almost assured of breakage.  When in doubt, bring your own (WGs seem to prefer when you bring local brands, not foreign things they cannot understand).  Careful too if the girl is using a lube, as many lubes can actually kill condoms and make them break in service.  If you have chafing or scratches on your penis or in your public hair area, you might want to consider NOT doing a WG on a given day, as their fluids hitting any damaged areas can lead to transmission.

Sixth and final: Always clean well when finished.  I have some decent anti-bacterial soap that I often carry with me.  It can't fix everything, but if something is sitting on the surface, you can kill it off or lower your risks greatly by being very clean after the fact.  No, this does not stop STDs, HIV, etc, but it might help to lower your chances of urinary tract infections (those itch like hell!).  Don't give the germs time to grow and multiple and find your weaknesses, don't be silly, clean your willy!    It's one of the reasons I am a big fan of the Macau sauna places, because if nothing else, you are well cleaned through the process both on the way in and on the way out, and the girls take extra care to clean themselves on the way in and out as well.

More than anything, don't monger when you don't feel well (your immune system is busy fighting something else, you are more likely to catch some else in the meantime), be clean, ask your providers to be clean, and don't take stupid risks.  25+ years of mongering (and swinging) without ever needing a prescription or medication, knock on wood.   Play safe, live long and prosper!

Recent Ratings
twiceAweek   19-5-2009 10:59  Karma  +5   Excellent and concise !
hunter   18-5-2009 16:41  Karma  +2   listen to the pro!!!!
G-A-R-Y   18-5-2009 08:45  Karma  +2   Good Advise...
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nHK
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Post at 18-5-2009 15:36  Profile P.M. 
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outstanding advice-this should be a sticky
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Thai-delight
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Post at 19-5-2009 00:10  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #2 CanuckGuy's post

Excellent reply.  Your anti-bacterial soap makes my Dettol slightly medicated shower foam sound lame.  Might add that to my kit if I can find some.  

NOW, sth very serious about your point concerning about lubes (paragraph 7).  

This is an absolutely frightening true story, which is why I try to avoid lubes.  
One time I was doing doggie, I grabbed some of the WG's lube to put into her arse, so that I could finger it.  I asked her if it was oil-based (the lube that is ) as it was really slimey and she kind of gave me a dazed shrug of the shoulders in a 'who gives a shit' way.  After washing myself down during the after-sex shower, I grabbed one of her Chinese condoms off the window shelf and stuffed some of her lube into my empty, travel size Listerine bottle.  When I got home, I unwrapped it and put it on a Japanese cucumber, then grabbed her lube and put it into a plastic bag.  While in the bag, I started wanking off the cucumber for five minutes.  When I took it off the cucumber, I gave it a water test and it stood up to the test.  Then I put the rubber back on the cucumber and did it for another 10 minutes (until my hand became sore).  Added warm water, and it broke.  Don't know whether plastic on rubber had sth to do with it, but I wasn't wanking vigorously (not like I do to myself ).  

Friend for life:
Next day, I went back to see the girl with a packet of three "durex extra strong, extra lube" and some durex avante that I got a month earlier from the States and had hidden under my bed, and gave her various info from websites I visited on how to get these and Astroglide Personal Lubricant, and explained to her the test I did.  I could see a million thoughts racing through her pretty young head.  She let me inside her flat and we spoke about that and a few other things.  When I held her hand, in a non-erotic way, and rubbed it, she suddenly broke down and asked why I would even bother to care.  After sitting together on the bed together for an hour, I convinced her to get tested for AIDS, which she again broke down and kept weeping "I don't want to die" and that she didn't know what to do if sth happened to her as she needed to take care of her mother and brother.  The girl was only 21 and the sole breadwinner.  Eventually, I took her down to Human Health as a friend and got her tested, came back ok.  Thank fucking Christ.  But I told her to have a follow-up in a few months.  She added those Durex condoms to her stock, and replaced oli-based lube with a water-based one.  She said she didn't like it as much, but didn't want to end up in a coffin.  After breaking down like she did that time and baring her soul to me, I could see her as nothing more than "little sis", which is what I call her when I visit her occasionally with some sliced rockmelon and mangos (her favourite) and sit for a while and have a chat about happy things.  Her family mainly and what she plans on doing in the future.  

Just like any man I have my weaknesses, and still occasionally fuck despite knowing the girl has drowned herself in lube (just like Anna SSP).  When encountered with the super horny, super sexy ones, hormones often supersede rational thought.   

Even now, I tell my girls about the dangers, so long as they are willing to listen.  But you can also see that some are never gonna change, many probably see me as some do-gooder geek.  I always leave the rest of my condoms on their bedside table, which benefits them and me, due to my SO situation.  The relationship I have with some of the girls (especially my pseudo GFs) is fantastic and based on one of mutual respect.  They respect my situation.  I respect theirs.  I ask about their family.  They ask about mine (though they know where to draw the line).  They understand my sexual needs, and with that my Bros, I get superior service beyond the call of duty - all paid for of course.  I have always lived by the following rule: walk away with your wallet slightly lighter, or you'll be walking away with the much heavier guilt of having just accepted the WG as a mistress.  Been there, done that.  In the end, both of us got hurt, and it nearly cost me in ways beyond that.  

Getting back to the original point of condoms, to anybody willing to listen, if you are using the wrong type of condom with the wrong type of lube, YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING BAREBACK without realising it.  

Sorry for the digress from the original post. Just sth I wanted to get off my chest.  

Thai-delight.....
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twiceAweek
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Post at 19-5-2009 00:21  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #4 Thai-delight's post

The left over listerine broke down the lube !

more importantly ... you cucumber story ... is it for real ?   

[ Last edited by  twiceAweek at 19-5-2009 00:30 ]
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Thai-delight
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Post at 19-5-2009 01:24  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #5 twiceAweek's post

Don't know I thought I washed it out real good.  I shook it and everything.  

Yes, bro, cucumber story is real and eveyrthing attached to it.  The more you get to know me, the more you'll realise just how fucked up I am abot certain things, although mainly done in good faith at the time.  
a hygiene-conscious gweilo who gets off on DATY and BBBJ who has stunning Chinese SO who only likes to fuck cheap Thai WGs - need I say more...
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hunter (Real Slim Slapper-Status: 九叔 .)
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Post at 19-5-2009 01:37  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #4 Thai-delight's post

"if you are using the wrong type of condom with the wrong type of lube, YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING BAREBACK without realising it."


bro,

I want to understand and learn more bout this.   Pls elaborate more.
Though I use my own doms and nvr let any lube / KY on my dom, I usually either go with her saliva or mine....
But I still don;t get it on the Lube risk.....please share more.




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CanuckGuy
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Post at 19-5-2009 02:03  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #7 hunter's post

Hunter, vaseline and other oil based lubricants can interact with the latex in most condoms and cause them to breakdown.  Remembering that condoms are like 0.02mm thick, it doesn't take many dead molecules to cause an issue.  Water based lubes don't cause this sort of issue.     Please search google for things like "latex condom vaseline" and you will find more info on it.   You aren't specifically going bareback, but what you have done raise the chance of a breakage, which has plenty of implications for all involved.

Also, as a side note, over lubrication can cause other issues as well.  If the lube breaks the seal between your penis and the end of the condom (allowing fluids to seep into the condom) then you are for all intents and purposes doing it bareback.  It's another reason to get a condom that is sized appropriately, avoiding those "japanese style" condoms made for guys with 2 inch long penises.  You need coverage over the entire area that will be penetrating and a little bit more.
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Thai-delight
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Post at 19-5-2009 09:33  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #7 hunter's post

Hunter,

CanuckGuy's reply is spot on.  Some studies that have been carried out show some latex condoms react so wildly to oil-based lube that they break after five or so minutes.  I could provide links if you wish, but just a google search.  Hence, my point about it being just like bareback for the wrong lube with the wrong condom.  The following is also taken from wikipedia in the AIDS entry on sexual contact:
The male latex condom, if used correctly without oil-based lubricants, is the single most effective available technology to reduce the sexual transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Manufacturers recommend that oil-based lubricants such as petroleum jelly, butter, and lard not be used with latex condoms, because they dissolve the latex, making the condoms porous. If necessary, manufacturers recommend using water-based lubricants.

Oil-based lubricants can however be used with polyurethane condoms.


Durex avanti is a type of polyurethane condom.  The following is taken from Amazon about that product:

Product Description
Revolutionary Non-Latex Condoms. Thinner and more sensitive than regular latex condoms.
For Latex Sensitive Condom Users. Unique non-latex material that is sensitive, clear, odorless, and safe with oil based lubricants.


For me, I tend to use Durex, extra strong, extra lube, as those ones are also designed for people sensitive to latex (as shown on the box).  Even if I wanted to, I can't wear Chinese condoms, as my dick always comes out in a rash, resulting in me having to use Triderm whenever this happens. Sometimes hard to explain to SO [this is a another sidenote for those who think they may have herpes - get it checked out as it most probably is a skin allergy!!!] I llike the feel of latex, but can't normally accept it, so extra strong, extra lube  suits me.  The lube on the condom is also plentiful and non-oil based.  

I hope that answers your question.
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twiceAweek
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Post at 19-5-2009 11:03  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #2 CanuckGuy's post

That was a very concise write up on ways of keeping safe !    
In the getting started section (still under construction) there would be a section on STD
would you mind if this write up is copied into that ?
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DArtagnan (unofficial Mayor of the Forum)
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Post at 19-5-2009 16:10  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #9 Thai-delight's post

Tried the Avanti when it first came out - found it rather stiff and desensitising - didn't even finish the pack and never went back.  

YMMV.  Maybe they've improved it since then?  

Durex Featherlite is currently my fave, along with their new UltraLite - though the rave write-up recently about Sagami made me curious to add it to my groceries.
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lol123
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Post at 19-5-2009 16:47  Profile P.M. 
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thanks for all the info guys, really appreciate it.

i was wondering though, how often do u guys get tested, and are you guys not worried with the potential risk of getting anything and passing it to your significant other between your periodic tests?
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CanuckGuy
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Post at 19-5-2009 19:42  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #10 twiceAweek's post

Use it as you see fit.  It isn't a 100% medically sound or checked by a doctor, it's just rules I have played by that really seem to have kept me in the good.
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Marsupial (Saint Marsupial)
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Post at 19-5-2009 21:07  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #4 Thai-delight's post

I think the only conclusion that can be drawn from your post is this: never have sex with a cucumber.




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hunter (Real Slim Slapper-Status: 九叔 .)
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Reply #14 Marsupial's post

OMG !! MArs is back with a humourous entre!!!!!




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aliasone
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Post at 19-5-2009 23:42  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #2 CanuckGuy's post

I've read word for word of CanuckGuy's post on his 6-7 steps for sex (i mean success! )

I think that should be the perennial guide for all mongers to safety.  I cannot agree more with what you said.

EPIC finish there with the live long and prosper! (I tried really)
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lol123
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Post at 21-5-2009 00:40  Profile P.M. 
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back on topic pls :p
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ksoz
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Post at 22-5-2009 18:16  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #4 Thai-delight's post

great advice. Going to add the Durex, extra strong, extra lube into my kit.

For safety, you could always bring your own water-based lube when visiting a WG. She should not mind.  Most of the time, the WG will appreciate a punter who is hygiene-conscious.
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lol123
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Post at 23-5-2009 09:06  Profile P.M. 
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i appreciate all this random help, but does anyone have any advice specifically with the risk associated even when protected when having sex with WG, and how you guys handle it. Do you still go unprotected with your SO/GF/Wife and how often do you get tested.
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twiceAweek
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Post at 23-5-2009 10:27  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #19 lol123's post

If you want specific and accurate answers regarding STD, protection and their risks please visit
the family planning association ... I understand they have counselors there just for this ...
and you walk away with free rubbers too !!!
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