Date & Time of Session: January weekday - 12noon
Location: Room 503, Wan Wah Industrial Building, Tuen Mun
Link: https://s-books.141-hk.com/sb/en/advertisement/163724
Name: Maggie Ho
Nationality & Language: Local - Cantonese and a handful of English
Age: late 40s
Face: 1.5/5
Body: 1.5/5 a round lady covered in plain clothes, I didn't see much
Height: ~5'3"
Skill: I don't know what to say, was I really supposed to be so beat up after that?
Service: Not for me
Price & Session Length: $400 (2 hours)
Repeat: Never, not a masochist

I'll start by saying I am not a big massage enthusiast.  I am young and don't play sports, so I am never sore and not in need of such relief.  Massages often lead to HJs and more so I have had my fair share, of course.  I enjoy a nice oily rub and even a nuru, but I don't know the first thing about health massage or "real" massage.  I do see a lot of ads for apparently non-sexual massage on 141 (where the provider is looking like a doctor and working with all kinds of equipment) which is sometimes surprising - do they advertise here because people really come looking for massage there, or is it the same client base??

I have seen providers offering lymphatic drainage massage which sounds veggie beyond veggie and apparently related to also solving urinary (too frequently peeing) and ED issues.  I had seen Maggie Ho's ad months ago and had my curiosity piqued for many reasons:

1. She uses such a normal name - Maggie Ho, sounds like a real person
   
2. It cryptically showed +$50 HJ, so maybe not totally veggie
   
3. It was in an industrial building, which are always fun for punting
   
4. She previously had the 141 "blog" mentioning something about BJ
   
5. The blog also had some photos of her looking like an ordinary auntie
   
6. Strangely she had a cutout passport-style photo on the ad before, so what u see is what u get
   

I wanted to try and get at least a HJ from her and tolerate whatever massage was needed to make it happen.  It was a little difficult to fit into my schedule since all the massages are 120 minutes.  I called her one afternoon and inquired in Mandarin if she was available.  She replied she can't speak gwok yu and I was a bit stumped and hung up.  After several days brushing up on Cantonese, I called again and successfully booked an appointment about an hour in advance.  I made my way through the factory district of Tuen Mun, where I hadn't visited before, and waited to go up at the appointment time.  Kind guard held the lift for me and I arrived at the deserted fifth floor and looked around for her room.  Actually it was the one just opposite the lift.  Called her and she came out from a side door and led me into her (house?) that had the door left open.  Not clear if she lived there alone, but it had a kitchen, living room, bathroom, some other rooms, plus the massage room.  She was pretty jovial at first, with a raspy voice.  I started to undress and she provided the tiniest paper underwear I have seen.  She saw me struggling to get it on when she came back from bringing me some water - the leg hole was to small to go any higher than my knee - and said don't worry about wearing that.

She started the massage with me face down.  A snowglobe played tinny Christmas tunes the whole time I was there (a special experience during the HJ later on).  All her massages are lymphatic so that is what she did I guess.  She was pretty silent and not interested in talking during the session.  The first part of a hard back massage mostly using her forearm was not too bad, but it got more and more intense around the 45 minute mark.  Hard pressure on anywhere there are lymph glands and then violent stroking along the length of the limb.  On the arms and legs it was really painful, but I though it must be good for my health.  I'd talked myself into a lymph massage because I had noticed a hard "vein" on LB a while before that the internet told me could be Sclerosing lymphangitis.  I squirmed a little during the process but tried to keep my composure and told Maggie that I was comfortable when she asked.

After the flip, she massage-pressed my belly which was not too bad and did further painful work on my underarms and thighs.  No teasing or any major touching of LB had occurred so far, but I held out hope. She was sniffling the whole time and blew her nose in tissue several times before getting right back to rubbing me each time.  My fatal mistake - she asked any other areas in need of massage.  Usually when asked I will say my neck because that is one area where I am sometimes sore and a normal massage can feel nice.  Well she took this to heart and pounded the shit out of my neck lymph nodes, rubbing her arm back and forth across both sides of my neck with great force.  I had always imagined myself being rather impervious to torture, should I ever be subjected to it, due to my high pain tolerance, but on this day I began to question this notion.  I held firm as much as I could, but the lower parts of my body were writhing in pain uncontrollably.  She had to hold me steady to continue what she was doing.  I told her it was too hard, but she seemed to take no notice.  I was wondering if she was taking some kind of pleasure in the obvious torment my body was experiencing as she pressed harder and harder into my neck.  Eventually she finished.

She walked around the side of the bed and pointed to my crotch area and said "lingham - fifty."   I figured this was where I would get my well-deserved happy ending and readily agreed.  She climbed onto the table and put my legs over hers.  I could feel her warm, squishy legs through the tight sweatpants she wore.  I wanted to fuck her into a coma for the pain she caused me.  She began a scrotum rub, fairly therapeutic, massaging the balls and up toward the pelvis.  This motion grazed LB who gradually became hard.  Seeing this, Maggie said "you want handjob?" I rarely hear any English from my providers so hearing this direct question was somehow a turn-on and felt dirtier than it should have been.  She put a copious amount of oil onto LB and the surrounding area and went to work for a few minutes.  It was not a bad HJ though very oily and not much pressure or technique, but I shot a decent load and Maggie kept stroking LB until he became soft and was a little numb.  Mission accomplished.

After some preliminary cleanup, Maggie let me use the shower to wash off all the oil.  Though the ad showed 350 for the session, Maggie said it was a 400 session and that there was an extra 50 for the crotch work.  I gave her 500, but she had no change.  She kept telling me I could go get change from a shop downstairs but I told her to keep the tip.  She didn't seem to want to keep any tip, but I insisted and said my goodbye...forever.

The aftermath was that my bicep areas on both arms were darkly bruised, the lymph nodes in my neck were both rock hard and super sore for over a week (I though lymphatic drainage was supposed to relieve lymph nodes), and I had large patches of folliculitis on both inner thighs from the hairs being pulled during the rough rubbing which persists slightly even after treatment and 3 or so weeks of recovery.  Maybe she was doing a completely authentic and medically accurate lymphatic massage, maybe she was berzerk, I don't know.  I just know I will never partake in any such activity again.

Thank you for your attention.