I could murder someone. This new macbook with the stupid touchbar has led me to write this report three times now as I accidentally hit the refresh button and the entire text here vanished. I will keep clicking on "
review" as a manual auto-save.
It is a pity as I almost finished it and thought it was quite funny.
Anyhow... here a bit of history. The last time I came to SLBS was about two years ago and I was serviced by a horse faced lady with enhanced tits. The service was sub par and all i can remember was the constant negotiation of rates and the services provided. What a massive turn off.
Fast forward, I visited the same place last Thursday afternoon and there was no one at the reception. I bravely stepped into the brightly lit reception area and made my way to the unmanned desk.
I can hear someone slowly walking towards me. Hmmm... looks familiar, 40-50 years old, long horse face, long hair and wearing a pink dress. I was a bit stunned to say the least as I was not expecting a familiar face at all. Handed over 50 quid for a one hour massage, even though I should have insisted for another masseuse, shortened to 30 mins or just walked.
Whatever, maybe she was not the same masseuse I saw last time.
I was then led downstairs, where there were at least 4-5 massage rooms. Mine had an ensuite shower which is a massively upgrade to when I visited last time.
I was given time to disrobe and then laid face down on the massage table, which had a pillow but no face hole. Good start....
The horse faced lady knocks on the door and cheerfully walks in striking up a friendly conversation. I asked for her name and she replied: "Jenny". Arghh... that rings a bell, I am pretty sure it is her who I did see before.
I enquired about who else was working and she pretended to not understand, before saying her colleague was serving another customer. I asked her what her name was and she answered that her colleague only started today and did not know her name. Oh boy.... extremely territorial and not what I would call friendly or cooperative, not to her colleagues nor her customers.
The therapeutical massage was at times just random rubbing of my shoulder plates. She really needs to get her act together and improve that part. For the sensual part of the massage she scores better. CC-swipes, reach under and gentle touches were fairly well delivered.
Inevitably we get to the point of extras. I told her firmly I pay 20 for HE and 40 for B2b and this is how much I have been paying here and elsewhere. I can walk away without extras, 50 quid down the drain is fine by me. She insisted that HE was 40 and B2B was 60. I ignored her and told her to carry on with the massage.
She then offered FS for 100 and again B2B for 60, whilst HE was not even mentioned anymore. I hate this constant haggling, I told her I saw her before but she insisted she has been only there for 1 month. Why lie? It makes no sense. She is way, way, way too greedy. I am more than happy to tip extra, if the service is good. At the end we agreed on 60 for FS and B2B, but let me tell you she went from her 100 pounds down by 10 pound increments (yes, I know I know... this is frowned upon here, but last time I paid 40 and got a topless HE from her).
She starts with the B2B and mid way through insists that I pay immediately. I told her that she should not worry and I would pay her. A few minutes after she demanded immediate payment again. What a mood killer!!! At thist point I am super annoyed and I got up took my wallet out and threw the 60 quid at her. She pretends to not understand why I was not pleased with that. Never before did I have to pay midway whilst being stark naked. I was seriously no longer in the mood and wanted this to be over with ASAP. Put the dom on and finished pounding her in mish. I really did not enjoy the encounter. Took a quick shower and was happy to leave this goddamn place.
My advice:
Avoid Jenny. Talks way too much and is way too greedy. Don't let her ambush you at the reception, but insist on waiting for someone else. Service no good, looks too artificial after all that plastic surgery done, and demands upfront payment.
