I just don't see hookers as infidelity. After 30 minutes, they're gone, as if they never existed. Even if there was a rare inkling of feelings beyond the physical act, it's gone, done. Has nothing to do whatsoever with my permanent partner, my feelings or loyalty to them. Has about as much relevance to my partner as it does to my late grandmother: neither needs to know.
The only concern I have is that I don't get an STD and pass it on. That's a big concern, as it could ruin my life in many ways. I do whatever I can to avoid it, wrap up, test regularly etc.
Oddly, I would not cheat on my partner by seeking out a civilian for sex. That's a betrayal, no way around it. Maybe I'd consider a civilian if I was 100% sure it would be a strictly one-time, well-contained thing (like a $0 hooker), but that's never the case.
Perhaps I should stop seeing hookers entirely, but they're pretty much my only vice. It's hard to get that dopamine rush from any other activity. Don't think my partner would appreciate if I became an alcoholic instead. That would be much harder to manage. Smoking wouldn't delight her either. | |
