I am single but I have always been in love. Once I was in love with a woman who didn't love me. Every time I texted "I love you" and she texted back "I know". This was not a joke. I even gave her a mug that had "I love you" "I know" printed on it. She looked at it and didn't smile. She didn't take the mug home. Then when I texted "I love you" there was no answer. Just two blue ticks. After a while the ticks stopped turning blue.
I loved her so much that I decided to abstain from sex, including self gratification. It lasted 1000 days. It's pointless. She didn't know about this. She didn't abstain from sex. Just not with me. Still I became what people refer to as asexual. Other people self-harm by cutting themselves. I do it by not having sex. After these 1000 days, I stopped texting her "I love you". Not that she noticed anyway.
I love receiving massage because it is the only chance for me to get any human touch. The way she presses on your spine, or spreads your buttock cheeks, or carelessly brushes her thigh against your arm. Sometimes with oxytocin swimming in your blood, you may momentarily experience a glimpse of what resembles love. That is why I punt.
Once, I was in a spa called Serenity. I was taken to a room by a girl, who then went outside. I showered and proned naked on the massage table. A misunderstanding must have happened, because the girl never came back. Time flowed passed. I was lying down thinking about my whole life up to this point. What got me into this situation? I got dressed and walked outside. Girls were chatting. Turned out the girl was called into another room and forgot to tell others that I was there. They asked me to go back in and someone will serve me. I politely declined.
That day, walking about the mean streets of TST, unmassaged, was the loneliest day of my day. | |
