One huge issue of a punter<>WG relationship is trust
I'm in such a relationship (though with Filipina)... and have actually chosen to make it even more serious moving forward (living together).. I love the hell out of her - and vice versa (and have for a very long time now). I have never been concerned about any "gold-digging" aspect of our relationship. Our issue is trust.. and learning a new type of it, perhaps. Or actually.. that maybe it doesn't even need to be an issue.
We are the same, my girl and I... incredibly similar in our quest for fun and games. Both sexual as hell. And we both know it, and we both know each other's pasts. She enjoyed her bar-girl life way back then... and I enjoyed (still do) playing in that world too. She is easily jealous of me, and I am easily jealous of her. With good reason, both ways -- if with think with pure monogamous morals.
This trust issue is hard, day to day. But the one thought that comes to my mind that eases it is.. "She's (maybe) doing no different then me.". Do I love her? Yes, without a doubt. I am a bad man? No, I'm not. She is the same as me. So.... if what I fear is true.., (she's had a fun party nite with the girls and ended up in someone's bed) is it really so bad? Maybe not. Dont ask; Dont tell, perhaps.
I cannot admit that I am fully there at accepting such a thing... but I am getting there... because I HAVE to get there if I want to continue loving her. It is so easy for her to find a willing man (she's insanely hot, sexy and fun). Incidently, she thinks of me exactly the same... that I could have any woman in any bar I wanted (not even remotely true, but this is how she sees me). So I just have to shut down that natural response... Or it will make me crazy. And so does she.
Is it worth it to end all we have together, because we stray for some novelty every now and then. I dont think so... I have been doing exactly this for 25+ years.
It isnt trust actually... it is accepting that it doesnt have to matter so much.
A different way to look at our relationships. But healthier, maybe. More realistic.
EDIT: Or to add a different way of looking at it: If I can love her completely (which I do)..., but still fuck around every now and then.... Why would it be okay for me, but not for her? It is the same. And we ARE the same. It's probably one reason why I am so insanely crazy about her. I get her.. she gets me. So, I either accept it.. or go mental trying to deny it.
[ Last edited by wander at 19-3-2017 12:30 ] | |
