My neighbour has just walked past with two dogs. I said, "I didn't know you had any dogs." She said, "They're not my dogs, they're my sisters." I said, "Your sisters are very ugly."
I'm not saying my wife's easy, but she's been banged more times than the first pipe on Flappy Bird.
I thought it was cute to name my dog 'Trouble', but I keep getting beaten up whenever I lose him.
The girl at the DragonAir check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?" I replied, "Window or you'll what?"
Walked into the library today to ask about a book for men with small penises. The librarian looked at the computer and said "I don't know if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one," I said. | |
