How to get free drinks from bars
Fred and Ray went to the liquor store to buy a cheap bottle of wine. In the store, they discovered they only have $1.50 between the two of them.
Ray thought for a while and then said, "I've got an idea!", and he goes next door to the butcher shop and comes back with a polish sausage. "Here Fred, stick this in your pants, I know a way that we can drink all night for free!" 
"What the hell, Ray? We don't have any money" exclaimed Fred.
"Don't worry," Ray replied confidently. "We'll go to the bar, order some drinks and when the bartender asks us to pay the tab, you stand up, unzip your fly, pull out the sausage and I'll start sucking on it. They will kick us out for sure and we don't have to pay!"
The two walk to the nearest bar, sat down and order two beers and two shots of whiskey. After the third round, the bartender asked them to pay up. With that,Fred stood up, unzipped his fly and Ray proceeded to suck the sausage passionately  .
"What the fuck are you doing, you perverts! Get the hell out of my bar!" shouted the bartender  , and the two friends run out laughing and gave each other high fives  .
"That was great, and it didn't cost us a cent," says Fred. "Let's do it again!" 
So off they ran to another bar for a repeat performance. This continued through the night and they were kicked out of every single bar without having to pay a single cent.
Towards the end of the night, after about the 12th bar, Ray said to Fred, now feeling pretty drunk, "Man, that was an excellent night out! I think we worn out that sausage. It was beginning to taste really strange at the last few bars!"
"Sausage?" says Fred. "Hell, I dropped and lost it four bars ago!" | |
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, and the two friends run out laughing and gave each other high fives 
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