You can take the boy outta hong kong, but...
Yeah, it is true.
I tried, rather hard, to forget one gal. Joann. My 4-year love-affair. I found some gals in LA to help soothe me. Isabelle (a latina stripper) and Thip (a Thai masseuse) primarily. (plus a new civvie gal I just started dating - an exotic Ethiopian/Swiss mix gal (what an odd combination, right?). Tall and built like a super-model with breasts, very european facial-features, yet black, black, black skin. Damn hot, actually. She should be on film. A Bond-girl. About 5'11 I suppose. She walks into a room and the place goes quiet. What a look she has! Nice woman too.)
But I just cant forget Joann. I cant do it. I have just started the process to help her get a visa to come see me in America. This will be VERY tricky to plan and execute between the two of us. She's married aswell. Though maybe not for much longer... nor me.
Sigh. I thought distance and time apart would evaporate these thoughts. But the contrary seems to be true.
Instead of making our emotions soften.., time apart has only made them more acute. Realizing what I am missing, what could be.., and missing her all the more. We have started skypeing more and more just to get our "fix" of each other. Skype sex is not terribly fullfulling.
So...., I seem to be doing what I have preached against for years. Committing to a former-Working-Girl. I have written threads against this very thing, based on my own experieinces and many, many observations. And as I re-read the old posts of mine I go, "yep, this fellow is bang on!". So, I am going against everything I know to be true.
The odds of a successful relationship are tiny.
Yet... she is the one I want. The only one, it seems. She's ruined other women for me. I would push my Ethiopian/Swiss super-model over a ledge to help Joann walk past. Shite!
I have slept with so many hundreds of gals, maybe over 1,000 even. I have built so many "girlfriend" relationships over the years with WG-regulars. So many truly wonderful romances. But none of them matter except this one.
Doomed. It seems.
But I just have to follow through on this one... I need to see its conclusion. We are only here once, right? | |
