Need to understand culture and psychology
Bros, I hope this post doesn't get too long, but I have a lot to say about this subject. My knowledge is really a function of having lived in Asia for the past 10 years and growing up in an Asian community in the U.S. Where do I begin??...
Asian Culture 101: Asians are born into a various hierarchies. Doesn't matter which Asian country - Korea, Japan, China, Thailand, Indonesians, Filipinos. Kids don't realize this hierarchical separation of classes, but by the time an asian hits his/her late teens (late high school years), he or she knows and feels his or her place in society.
This hierarchical system is relatively black and white - and typically, as one becomes ready to start dating or get married, he or she starts his or her search within their own hierarchy. WHY??
Asian families rank themselves among each other in a very blatent ways vs. western countries. In the U.S., "the American Dream" is a good catch phrase to allow one to think anyone can make it. But in Asia, it is not that easy and generally accepted that there are very few ways to move from a lower hierarchical class to a higher one. Its not really complacence, its just a cultural reality that shoves it in their face through existence of a generally small middle class, smothered by an enormous lower class and a U-Can't-Touch-This Upper Class.
By nature, Asians are extremely nationalistic and deathly judgemental. The one's who feel this the most - WOMEN.
Asian Women Psychology 101: Asian women are judged horribly. This stems from cultural and religious ties that require women to be house-wives, fully able to bear children, take care of the husband's parents (who usually think she wasn't good enough for their son). Not only that, the woman's parents are judged by the husband's parents and expected to be very subservient and "lower ranking." For many asian women, they realize they will never be able to jump up to a higher level where they feel they will no longer be judged. WHAT IS THE ASIAN GIRL'S SOLUTION?
Asian girls who are not from the higher echelons of society go after non-Asian guys - they love caucasian guys because for the first time, they don't feel judged...they don't feel the cold blood of a condescending asian man hanging over their shoulder and telling her that her family's gift was not good enough, or that her mother didn't train her to cook well, or that she doesn't have an education, etc.
My asian friends who have dated white guys (of course, not all) are typically from lower class families. The goal is for the asian girl to marry a foreigner because: a) no responsibilities to family; b) immediately elevates their status to their friends...or at least in their own mind; c) they do not have to fear being judged because of their family background and societal satus in their home country; and finally d) they exploit the fact that white guys have no clue about her family background and the meaning of being part of lower socieity.
Particularly, in the Wanch, you have a lot of WGs who would dream of meeting a white guy...no so much for making money or love, but to elevate herself and to relieve herself of that feeling of constantly being judged. If a white guy walks in a bar at Joe Bananas, the girls see a gentleman who is: a) wants a good time; b) doesn't mind that the girl works in the bar - in fact...he is happy to see her at the bar; and c) her parents, who probably couldn't afford to be good, subservient in-laws, have zero responsibility to the white guy (I know I though in parents, but asian girls usually think of how they want to be good to their parents).
On the other hand, simpleneeds walks in Joe Bananas. Immediately, there is a sense of curiousity from the WGs. Why is an Asian dude hangin out in a place like this? They see the asian face and the culture hierarchy mode kicks in as they ask themselves: a) does he think I'm a whore?; b) who the heck does he think he is for judging me?; and c) probably here just to look at us like circus animals given there are other more social hunting grounds where asians can go to meet civvies
I guess the key takeaway here, and what I've always thought in my mind, was that girls avoid asian dudes in the Wanch because an innate sensation kicks in through their mind like: is he judging me? why is her here? Does he look down on me? This is enough for the WGs to bee-line straight to the white guys, who in the eyes of WGs, are here to have fun, show them respect, and help them earn some money because the white guys are more empathetic towards their tough life situations.
First of all, its generally accepted by Asians (both men and women) that if an asian girl is with a white guy, she is probably from a poor family and she specifically sought to meet a white guy in order to safely "hide" her lower hierarchy and save herself and her parents from being humiliated by hoping to meet an asian guy in a higher hierarchy. She knows that, asian guys know that, and the girl doesn't want to feel like she is being judged for it in front of an asian dude. In the mongering scene in the Wanch, I'm gonna bet that most of these girls are probably not from the greatest homes...maybe a broad assumption, but generally true, I think...so meeting a non-judgmental guy who doesn't expect gifts from her family (like a high class asian family would), relieves the girls of a lot of burder - thus allows them to have more fun and be comfortable.
Anyways, now going back to jonnyboysly's pyschology...
Asian Men Psychology 101: Again, asian's are very nationlistic. Admittedly, sometimes I care, but most of the times I don't. Jonnyboy is upset because he doesn't appear to understand the personal situation of most asian girls who hook up with white guys. He probably forgets that these aren't even the girls he really wants to be with (although maybe he does since he admitted he was immature and young). He also doesn't seem to understand how difficult it is for asian women to go beyond their cultural borders to escape the judgemental life of being part of a lower level hierarchy system.
Holy crap, this is getting long....
[ Last edited by simpleneeds at 17-7-2012 23:32 ] | |
