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3-7-2012 02:22

RICO ALL ALONE IN HELSINKI ....

Went out last night with some mates for a couple of drinks last night cause there was no point in sleeping.. RICO had already booked first class rail tickets to Manchester airport....

RICO went to Spearmint Rhinos in Sheffield and got grinded all night from a Jessie J lookalike....

Everytime the Austin Powers theme tune came on it was 2 dances for the price for 1... ( Now RICO does like a bargain..)

Got back to the hotel at 4am and realised that i had 45 minutes to get to the train station....

Was contemplating whether to risk having a ten minute nap but decided to pack my suitcase first... To tell you the truth packing very quickly whilst pissed is not advisable... My suitcase was full to the brim but there was loads more shit yet to pack... ( Goddammit that bed looks damn nice )

Stinking of alcohol and cheap perfume RICO checks out of the hotel and begins his short journey to the train station....

Just trying to wheel that damn samsonite over cobblestones was a chore hence RICO having to summon up the power of Jack Daniels to carry that damn suitcase over to the station whilst lugging a 20kg backpack at the same time... ( RICO was sweating like a sheep running away from our olde swedish comrades...)

Got to the train station and i was gagging for a drink of anything to quench my thirst.... Safeways was partly open but RICO got ushered away cause they informed me that they were not ready yet to open..... "sigh"

I went out for a fag cause nothing was going right for our dehydrated RICO.... At least he had fags...So he went outside and sparked one up feeling good about himself cause at last something was going right... ( Goddammit RICO would cut off his dick and throw it into the River Thames just for a glass of something to drink...)

Those two fuckers who were from safeways came out for a fag as well and i asked them if they had finished their preparation yet to which i got the reply... " We're on our fag break.." ( WTF....

FUCK THEM...

RICO will get a drink in the first class carriage when he gets on the train...

Train arrives and i enter the first class carriage.... WTF....

My reservation number was 9A and there were only 8 seats in first class.... ( One table for four and two tables of two...)

RICO adapts and overcomes the situation by sitting opposite a 50ish business woman who i later found out was also traveling to the airport....

The train conductor comes out and ask to see the tickets to which i asked him when refreshment would be served... He informs that they do not start serving refreshments till 8am... ( RICO is feeling at an all time low now...)

I stank of alcohol and was dehydrating badly... I tried to swallow my spit but my mouth was bone dry... ( RICO passes out for 45 minutes of the train journey and was relieved that the airport was only a couple of stops away....)

The first thing RICO did when he disembarked at the airport was to buy two bottles of orangy/red stuff in a bottle and swigged them before he go to the paypoint... ( Goddammit RICO felt good...Still pissed but better..)

I went to the Finnair check in kiosk and hand them over my printed eticket to which they informed me that i ONLY had a ticket to Helsinki...

The bald headed twat behind the kiosk then tells me that i might of made a mistake when i booked the ticket.... To which RICO replies... " If you look carefully at my fuking eticket and not that damn monitor then maybe you will realise that i am traveling business you incompident imbecile.....

He quickly realises his mistake and makes a telephone call to his superior.... RICO was asked to wait fifteen minutes so he decides to go out for a fag first....

When RICO arrives at the designated smoking area ...To his horror his cigerettes were all crumpled and broken... ( I think i must of sat on them when i passed out...)

RICO returns to the Finnair check in desk and was greeted by this dark haired beauty who informed me that my second leg of my journey was cancel ..... I was pretty pissed off but there was no way i could shout at a beautiful creature that i wanted to bend over the kiosk and shag....

RICO was informed that he would be greeted in Helsinki by a rep from finnair when he arrived ....The journey to Helsinki was quite pleasant but whilst desending into Helsinki...RICO gets a painful migraine for four minutes..... ( It took a lot out of him to not scream out...)

As promised when RICO touched down in Helsinki 1pm uk time/ 3pm Helsinki time... He was greeted by another gorgeous creature from Finnair... ( Things are looking up for RICO)..

RICO was asked if he wanted a shower to which he replies... " Only if you scrub my back" She laughs politely and smiles that symbolises " FUCK OFF".... ( Come on guys RICO is still kinda pissed from the night before)

After taking a shower...RICO felt a hell of a lot better... Next she informs me that lunch and dinner would be provide for me from the Finnair Lounge free of charge and that RICO could order anything he wanted....

She joins RICO for lunch and we natter away for about an hour to which she had to leave to work again... ( I think RICO might be in here..)

RICO asks her if she would be free for dinner later on cause i still was feeling a little bit depressed for still having to wait a few more hours for my flight to HK.... She replies " OK"

I wonder around the airport for a couple of hours... Helsinki isn't a big airport but when there isn't a lot of people waiting for flights then it is quite peaceful.....

RICO arrives back into the Finnair Lounge to have dinner with that rep and all was going fine....I had sobered up a bit so was able to turn on the charm...( She was giggling and getting smiles from her co workers... ( Yeah baby...A bit of RICO charm is addictive )

Then she informs me that i could also order any

thing to drink and she suggested Moet ( Yuck) but i play along and only one glass came with the champagne....

She informs me that she is not allow to drink at the terminal but eggs me on to drink alone.... ( What a dear little thing.. )

NOW THIS IS WHERE THINGS GO WRONG...AFTER TWO GLASSES OF MOET RICO IS PISSED AGAIN AND BEGINS SLURRING AGAIN....

She makes her excuses and leaves.....

Leaving RICO all alone and pissed in Helsinki airport..... I have just under two hours to wait.....

WTF....

I hope RICO's night out in Wan Chai this coming Wednesday will not be a total loss....

I have only three little words to say at the moment which kinda expresses the way i feel at this moment of time during this live on the spot reporting down here in Helsinki.....

"EAT MY COCK'

[ Last edited by Rico at 3-7-2012 02:27 ]

Username	Time	Credits	Reason
yazoo	3-7-2012 02:48	Karma +2	Funny story. Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda...
Kim53	3-7-2012 03:52	Karma +3	Give me a notice and at least I'll offer good malt whisky to you in Finland
DArtagnan	3-7-2012 12:49	Karma +3	Hilarious!!
Petay_1283	3-7-2012 12:58	Karma +2	Lol
doghead	3-7-2012 13:53	Karma +2	Wait, did u say u would be in wanchai on the 1st or so of July?
HKPooner	17-7-2012 15:07	Karma +2	Great story Rico! Rico needs to handle liquor better when with non KTV girls!
bmberman	17-7-2012 17:00	Karma +3	lol nicely done, almost execute
CunningLinguist	18-7-2012 01:10	Acceptance +1	Don't you mean the Don, Sheaf, Rivelin, Loxley or Porter?
TheButler	18-7-2012 06:45	Karma +3	Will give more points for nekkid stewardess pics . . . ;-P