Reply #18 jsmithj88's post
Actually I do, here's how I see it:-
Firstly you have to understand that whatever a girl feels (actually same applies to guys too) is all about her own beliefs and interpretations, and it actually has nothing whatsoever to do with who you really are. If she loves you, she doesn't really love you: she's just chosen you to attach her feelings of insecurity and loneliness and desire for sexual fulfilment to. [OK it can happen, but it's very rare, that a girl should truly accept you and want you as you really are, as distinct from the guy that you represent in her mind.]
BTW that model also explains very neatly why it is that girls want to control their guy so tightly.
Secondly - a bit deeper - everything in the Universe only exists in relation to its opposite.
This is also true of the mind: nothing exists in a vacuum, and every thought appears in balance with its opposite.
Ergo love only exists in relationship to fear. (Anger and hate are special cases of an expression of fear, the "fight" versus the "flight").
Ergo intense feelings of love, attachment, desire, longing to be with someone, etc. automatically bring with them all the worst fears of rejection, loneliness, abandonment, fear of death, etc.
A bit deeper, the sort of possessive love that we often see has less to do with love, than with fear of loneliness and a desire to take control.
All of that together means that any time we ("her" guy) fail to match the template she has in her mind, she experiences panic, and blames us for it. Getting angry is just a way to try to take control ...
A very illustrative specific case in my own life, in my 20s I was part of a diverse social group in my town. Everyone was very nice (really, not fake) and we got on very well. Except for one woman, who hated me, and although I never knew about it she would go around bad-mouthing me to anyone who would listen. Some years later a girl in the group, who was my girlfriend at the time, told me about this woman and suddenly burst out laughing "I bet she's actually attracted to you and wants you for herself!" she said. So there you have it: the observation of a woman about a woman's view!
Now, for my next trick, watch closely as I prove that black equals white and .....
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