to the Original Poster
i think SEAJ has some wise comments above. i only have a few thoughts.
i appreciate you thinking about the situation. you're young and would like some sexual experience...well, every young man does! young women too, although social and cultural situations differ. you're not interested in (or financially set up to) start a family, which means birth-control is a priority. forget WG or civvie, u want a condom on. ideally...but it's a LOT smarter than any other tactic. think about it: u want sexual adventure, not Mini-Me. get that squared away first.
dunoo where yr from, but there are a lot of women your age who would be interested in a young man like you. my advice: get to know them in a social way. often young people do things in groups, this is good. your peers may joke with you (sometimes at your expense), but that's a way to break in your ego. if you're in the right group, things will settle into place.
sometimes it's intimidating, even scary, to talk to women when you're younger. you want to impress them, you want them to like you. this won't always happen. humans will let you down, but HUMANITY won't. it's a matter of meeting a young lady whose company you like. it's not about impressing them with stories of how rich your father is or whatever.
as you've guessed, i'm leaning towards the non-WG experience. two reasons: 1) WGs will always, ALWAYS be around. there are plenty of guys who aren't 21 (think double) and had a girfriend who became a wife, then a mother and maybe now has a job. she's no longer the hottie they fell for, they may not be interested in that pesky penis any longer. or, the reverse. for THOSE guys, WGs offer a great fantasy situation. the WG experience isn't about conversation or society, it's about a sexual service, hopefully delivered with skill by someone who finds enjoyment in their job. because it is a job.
2) the civvie experience is part of life, society and friendship. yes, there are one-night no-strings-attached experiences, but in general, women are seeking something in a relationship. feelings come into play (they do with WGs too, but the circumstances are more limiting) and it's much, MUCH better to fall in love/bust up with a civvie GF than a WG. assuming you don't get married (find out just what will happen to you when you get divorced BEFORE you propose). sure, some marriages work out. but if it's all sweetness and light, why are their "pre-nuptial marriage agreements").
you're a long way from that. you're a young, likely shy young guy who worries he doesn't fit in, women won't talk to him, etc. welcome to the human race! try to find people you can hang out with it: male and female. like most things, it gets easier with practice, but TALK to the women. don't even mention dates/kissing/sex--if others do, laugh it off. if you can chat with a woman, and she LAUGHS, u will have some interesting civvie-encounters, maybe with her, maybe not with her. women like men who like them laugh. start there...once you can make it happen more often, you'll get more confident, and women like men who are confident. seriously, life's lessons are more important than just having sex with someone. for someone like me, WGs are the way to go. but i think if you take the more accepted/standard/difficult path, the journey will be much more rewarding.
WGs are great, but when i was 21 they weren't even in my universe. i went out there and messed up repeatedly, had all sort of adventures good and bad, and yes, i got laid a lot. wouldn't trade it for anything.fortunately i never got anyone pregnant, and as i grew older, i learned of a fuller spectrum. but i've had wonderful female friends i never would have known if i hadn't become used to talking to women. i still enjoy it: i flirt with most of my female co-workers, find out their hobbies, they tease me and i tease 'em back. women are great. WGs are fun to talk to (this isn't something yr gonna get at Coronet Court), but you're not there yet and it may not be your thing anyway. find some women your age and chat with them--often this is easier in a group, as women know that men have one thing on their minds at age 21 and it ain't cooking the perfect omelet. eventually you'll have a one-on-one convo with a real live girl, and when u get there, summon your acting skills and pretend you DON'T have nothing but sex on the brain. find something else to talk about.
we're mongers, we all have our different situations, but we have begun our journeys and in most cases, are well on our way. you're just starting. find someone you have something in common and start the conversation. you'll make mistakes. when the time comes and you make a pass at someone and get rejected, it won't be fun. chalk it up to experience and carry on.
we humans learn by making mistakes. get out there and make some. don't let them get you down for more than a day or two, make some adjustments. then get back out there. best of luck!
JtB | |
