Guide To Maintaining Our Precious Balls For Punting
This post is not exactly a post about any girl or establishment in Macau, but more of an informative health guide for your little brother and round buddies down there to enjoy the maximum experience in Macau or HK Saunas, or just plain punting experience. 
If I have posted this in the wrong section, Mods, please move it.
Anyways I was reading through some medical journals and stats lately and found out something of interest to all you fellow brothers. Some of you may already know, but for some, it is a friendly reminder.
Our balls are a huge integral part of our punting and mongering joy. They get licked, kissed, sucked, and off course, and most important, they store our valuable swimming buddies who seem to always wonder why they end up inside a condom and instead on a "real adventure".
I'm not saying you should go bareback and let them go on an adventure in all public car parks, but sometimes, our sacks of joys are often overlooked and need to be carefully looked after.
Im no Dr. Ball,  but I have done some extensive self research on myself in the last couple of months to see if I cam maxmize my libido and sperm count naturally.
If you notice less white stuff and more transparent liquid coming out, please do pay attention to this informative guide.
It is very important that our friends downthere stay a temperature that is 2 degrees celsious lower than our body temperature (37) and never above. So I present you with this self written guide to make your balls and content stronger and healthier and more prepared for action, especially next time when you go to macau for some Doodaa.
 FENDER BENDER BALLS
If your balls are squished, compressed tightly while sitting down, we can calls these fender benders, especially when they are caught very tight between your thighs and very close to your body. First off.... sitting long hours hurt your balls and sperm production period. The worst profession are Drivers/Chauffers. If you are in that job of line, youre practically screwed.
Riding on airplanes (economy class and long haul) and riding long hours on a small seat will definately hurt sperm production and cause alot of stress on them. So it is never advised to go right into punting after getting off a long haul flight, cause you are putting some extreme stress down there. In addition, the one hour HK-Macau ferry ride requires you to sit for an hour and thats not exactly good at all either.
 REMEDY FOR FENDER BENDER BALLS
Before mongering, you should try to walk slowly or stand more often, and avoid sitting long periods during the day. Just let those balls hang down and do their job. If you are taking the macau ferry, try to walk around slowly on the boat, stand more often and pretend to stretch, or pretend to go to the onboard toilet more often. For people getting right off a long haul flight with some jetlag.... please know your balls are tired, overworked, endured tons of friction and jetlag too. Give them a break!
FRICTION HURTS THE ENGINE BALL LIFE
The wrong type of oil for your engine can hurt your engine performance. If you're reading this guide right now, then that means youre one of those sporty engine types which needs to be pampered to get the most horsepower out anytime, anywhere of the day and would want to sreiously avoid engine wear.
Putting synthetic engine oil and putting peanut butter in your engine.... you can definately see the difference. It's like wearing boxers VS wearing triangle underwear and tight jeans. Forget about buying those giordano and bossini underwear, they are the wrong oil for your type engine. You're not doing your balls a favor cause theses type of undergarments cause alot of unwanted friction on your important engine parts, and as well keep everything tight.
Speed walking extensively or making a long ass trek to a punting ground will also hurt your performance. ie: walking from macau ferry over to 18 sauna at Golden Dragon Hotel.
REMEDY FOR ENGINE BALL LIFE
Go to H&M and buy those spongebob rectangle underwear or even better, boxers. Avoid wearing tight jeans at all costs.
If the punting location is far, take a taxi, sit in the middle and spread your legs wide on the taxi (not like the male taxi driver can see your lower half from the mirror)
BAD SMOKE COMING OUT THE EXHAUST
Your oxygen sensors in your engine play a very important part in regulating your performance overall. This is quite unavoidable for many, but many of us like to smoke ciggys and that causes alot of pollution in your body. Sure they are bad, but we keep on smoking them even though we know it is related to abnormal blood pressure down there and is the second factor which contributes to impotence. The crazy mixture of chemicals from cigerettes that run through your engine is what causes the problems. Why do hybrid cars run with less pollution and are more efficient? Apply it to yourself.
REMEDY FOR GOOD EXHAUST OUTPUT
If available in your country, start smoking e-cigerettes or a personal vaporizer and select a receipe with the least chemicals.
BAD PLACES TO TAKE YOUR RIDE
When going to a sauna (Macau or HK or China), you should avoid the actual sauna room and avoid the hot tubs. Sitting inside the sauna room will actually hurt the contents of your balls. Yep thats right. Scientists believe the maximum amount you should sit inside a gruelling hot sauna room is only maybe once a month. Preferably once every 6 mths or totally dont go. The extreme heat of the sauna will cause alot of damage to your sack-o-bags down there. If the hot water pool is luke warm, it is ok to use it, but if it is warmer than your normal body terperature of of 37 celisious, avoid. Look for the thermostat or ask the pool attendant.
REMEDY FOR BAD PLACES TO TAKE YOUR RIDE
This is a easy solution.... after your lukewarm shower in the sauna, go straight to the lounge and wait to pick the girl first. Bang the chick first then destroy your balls after by going to the sauna room and the hot tub. But if you are going for seconds, leave the sauna room and the hot tub as the last thing you will do before leaving the establishment.
 CLEANING YOUR JUNK
Often overlooked, cleaning your balls and penis should always be a delicate job. Never wash them roughly, or allow someone to wash them roughly. Your Junk is a place where it is easy to accumulate sweat and bacteria and can emit bad odours. Make sure to clean it everyday.
The best way to clean the balls is to cup them with one hand and wash them gently with your other hand with some soap.
Also, clean your scrotum throughly on all sides and pay attention to the perineum, which is the part of skin between the base of your scrotum and your rectum. Most people usually forget to wash that part and you can never smell the odor from there unless you can bend your head so forward to smell your own balls...(which we doubt you would).
Girls love fresh and clean looking balls and dicks..... if it looks and smells clean, they will dive in. But if it smells like old cheese... you wont get very good service down there!
[ Last edited by battlebottle at 19-11-2010 21:21 ] | |
but I have done some extensive self research on myself in the last couple of months to see if I cam maxmize my libido and sperm count naturally.
FENDER BENDER BALLS
REMEDY FOR FENDER BENDER BALLS
CLEANING YOUR JUNK