Originally posted by suntory1975 at 21-7-2010 16:52
Whole thing made me think again. ...
Good!!!
You need to do some reflection ...
Sometimes i think if i never was introduced to this punting scene, i could have more decent core values and norms etc...
oh dear oh dear oh dear ...
Some facts you need to be aware of:-
1. your needs aren't going to change just because you signed a paper and stood up in front of a crowd to speak a promise.
2. that means your past habits - which you developed to cope with your needs - aren't going to go away just because you signed a paper and stood up in front of a crowd to speak a promise.
3. your beautiful loving wife who needs your care and attention is NOT going to give a flying fuck about you when she has a crying baby 24x7 (ask any Dad  )
4. that means there are going to be LONG periods where you are sexually frustrated
5. ... and you know what happens when you try to suppress your legitimate biological needs for a long time ...
Give yourself a break. You're not alone.
You know and I know that if you lived in a remote village and noone ever introduced you to punting, you would still need and would still have sex with more than one partner.
Case in point, the great CG Jung - the father of psychology as we know it today - struggled for years with his own marital issues and went into a deep depression for 10 years. After he came out of it he said the realisation that helped him was "I would rather be whole than be good".
Go find support and help before you need it (friends, bros, older fathers, counsellors, therapists - there's lots to choose from) not when it's too late. Start now, take your time, and like you say "think again", and again, and again ...
You have an inner nature.
I'm NOT going to tell you what that is. And NOT going to tell you what you have to do to live your life. Only you can discover your own inner nature, noone else can see it like you can. Only you can discover your success formula.
But right now the way you're trying to have "decent core values and norms" is getting in your way and causing you a lot of pain.
You need to find your own way, including how to handle the prejudices and judgement of other people who are unqualified to have an opinion about you and your life.
Go easy on yourself: you are what you are. Your job is to get to know what that is, and find a way to live in harmony with the way other people are while being fully respectful to yourself and your own needs. |
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