DIFFERENT LEVELS OF EXERCISE
It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise,
but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric
content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and
proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............................12 Calories
Without her consent..................2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........................8 Calories
With one hand..........................12 Calories
With your teeth.......................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................6 Calories
Without an erection...........3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................... ......78 Calories
69 standing up.........................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow............... ...... ....216 Calories
Doggy Style.............................326 Calories
Italian chandelier....................2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real.............................112 Calories
Fake.................................1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging..........................................18 Calories
Getting up immediately......................................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years.........................36 Calories
30-39 years.........................80 Calories
40-49 years.......................124 Calories
50-59 years....................1,972 Calories
60-69 years....................7,916 Calories
70 and over............................... A Miracle
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.............................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories | |
