The sex you really regretted
We're all (duh) avid hunters of sex, I as much as most here (from what I have read). However, has there been anytime in your life that you've had sex that you regret? I'm not talking of the post coital depression that sometimes strikes some punters (myself included) after the act is done, but something that you regret even after a while.
I'll go first and talk about my experience; it's the first time I'm expressing it so many thanks to this board, and those who read it.
It happened more than a decade ago. Two friends of mine had just gotten engaged, they were really close friends both of them, and she took me out to tell me the news and to celebrate. We started drinking - in those days I could really turn it on (I don't think I could have written this if I wasn't drunk now) - and the conversation led from her telling me the news, to my absolute delight and then went onwards. Many hours passed and at the end of it I was absolutely hammered, as was she. I ended up taking her home; she was quite ill from all that drinking and I had to literally carry her to her bed.
Drinking has no logic; so I stayed in the other room drinking some more as she slept. Some time later she called out for me, she seemed ill. She was obvioulsy hammered. As I bent over her she grabbed me by the head and planted a deep kiss on my face. I pushed away - just alittle - and then returned the kiss. I still remember her grabbing back of my hard, my cupping her hard between her legs, the the fumbling with our clothers, my hands running down her back, her body pale and naked as I reached around to grab her, her pushing me back on the bed and going down on her knees. I can also remember her crying out my name and the name of the guy she was engaged to, my friend. I can remember so many things, not the least that I also (and sorry if this comes as a 'dampener'!), spectacularly failed to perform, but tried to give her satisfaction. And then I walked away, drove back home.
The next day we spoke of it, tried to work our way through it, and she flatly told me that she never wanted to be alone with me and also that she would find a way to tell out mutual friend (the guy she was engaged to) about what happened. Now, more than a decade later I think she just flat out lied to him. What that lie was, I never knew.
But it ruined a lot of things for me. My friendship with the woman, my friendship with the guy - not what they did discuss, but I could no longer either talk to her or look him in the face. And since then I have always had to face up to the thought that this was the one that I maybe allowed to get away from me, for she was truly and unconventionally beautiful, sexy and amazingly intelligent.
I still speak to her sometimes, less frequently with the passing of years. But the memory of that sex (or the sex that never actually happened if you count actual penetration, which I don't)! I just have to go back to that memory and inhale again the smell of rum, sweat, arousal and guilt.
Life is f*cked, innit?
[ Last edited by Neithernor at 30-1-2010 11:47 ] | |
