Men Who Buy Sex - Who They Buy & What They Know
Hi guys.
I discovered a new (apparently major) piece of research on mongering. I thought would be an interesting conversation piece given our mutual interests! It would be interesting too know what you guys think.
This international research project covered consisted of interviews with 700 men across 6 countries (experiences of 103 London men were summarized below)
While I've given the link to the project at the bottom of the page, I'm culling some of (what I thought were) the interesting points here to save you time. What of the following resonates with you?
1. Selected quotes from men:
“Prostitution is like masturbating without having to use your hand.”
“It’s like renting a girlfriend or wife. You get to choose like a catalogue.”
“Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with."
“I hugely recommend it but be sure you know there’s a threshold you’ll be crossing. Prostitution is naturally questionable, whether it’s to yourself or to society.”
2. Sample Demo
The average age of the 103 research participants was 38, with a range of 18 to 70. About one-third of the men (35%) reported an annual family income of £20,000 or less, about one-half (48%) of £20,001 to £50,000, and 17% greater than £50,000.
3. Number of sex partners and number of women used in prostitution
About one-half of the study participants (54%) said that they were currently in a relationship. Other research has found that men’s decision to buy sex generally is not because of a lack of a sex partner.
Three-quarters (77%) of the men said that they had had more than ten sex partners in their lifetimes, with more than one-quarter (28%) indicating that they had had more than 50 partners.
Only a minority of these men’s lifetime sex partners (19%) were women in prostitution.
When asked how many women in prostitution they had ever bought, the number most frequently mentioned was 15, although responses ranged widely, from 1 to 2,000. 
Twelve per cent of the men reported use of more than 130 women.
4. For 29% of the men, prostitution was their first sexual experience
5 Why do men buy sex?
32% - Satisfy immediate sexual urge, entertainment, pleasure
21% - Seeks variety, wants to select certain physical, racial and sexual stereotypes
20% - Can’t get what he wants sexually or emotionally in his current relationship
15% - Convenience, no commitment, no emotional connection
8% - It’s a thrill; likes to break a taboo
3%- It’s an addiction or compulsion or result of intoxication
2% - Male bonding, peer pressure
6. Most men (71%) said they felt ambivalence about paying for sex. They often felt guilt or shame about buying sex while at the same time continuing to use prostituted women, hiding those behaviours.
Possibly to deflect self-blame, a significant majority of these 103 men who bought sex (78%) consider their own prostituting behaviours to be an addiction. Many of these men classified themselves ‘sex addicts,’ suggesting that they view their behaviour as an illness that is out of control and needs to be cured.
7.Frequencey of porn use While using pornography, 60% of these men reported that to some extent they classified the women in pornography as a prostitute. One man explained the impact of pornography on his sexual behaviour generally: “The more I’ve watched pornography, the more specific my wants have become. Watching pornography has shaped my sexual desires. I watch pornography and I discover ‘hey, that really turns me on’ and I want to recreate what I’ve seen in porn.”
8.Deterrence Asked what would deter them from using women in prostitution, the men’s responses suggest that there are a number of equally effective alternatives. These include being added to a sex offender register (NO KIDDING!), prison or being publicly exposed via billboard, newspaper, Internet or letter to family or employer
9.I thought this passage was interesting Interestingly, a number of the men explained the importance of being able to create an illusion to other men that they had acquired an attractive woman without payment. These men seem to place as much importance on what other men think of the women they buy as they do on the prostitution transaction itself. For example:
“I want my prostitute not to behave like one. I want them to role play to be a pretend girlfriend. To a third person it looks like we’re in love – but it’s a casual hook up, I want to chat about lots of things, what I like in life, what my friends are, and not money. She should enjoy her business. I actually want her to be genuinely attracted to me. I feel sorry for these girls but this is what I want.”
Any of this resonates with you? For me - I am 40, in the higher income demo (according to the classification above). I do feel some guilt and shame paying for sex. Finally while I sympathathize with WGs it is obvuiously not enought i stop mongering. If I were to be brutally honest with myself, I would say I do not care much (obviously there's no way I would hurt them even a little, nor allow them to be hurt if I can, but you know what I mean hopefully). I've never felt the need to recreate porn per se but I find that porn helps me more and more to get turned on. And yes, I like the WG to be cheerful and 'cooperative' even if I know I am living a lie.
And I particularly liked the “Prostitution is like masturbating without having to use your hand.” quote!
You can read the story here: Link 1
Or read the full report here: Link 2 | |
