Reply #1 hong_deng's post
ponder away bro ... your conscience is your conscience ... our conscience will not solve the problem of your conscience ... you are unique, your situation is also unique ... you need to figure out what works for you in the situation you're in.
Here's an example of a unique situation: as a kid I knew a guy who went sailing with his wife and girlfriend every year. Clearly the women accepted it. But the thing that makes their example remarkable is that it is just that: remarkable. The fact I have to trawl back 30 years (ahem) to find a good example shows how rare it is. Most women flip out and destroy everything they care about rather than accept their partner even looking at another woman let alone touching her or more.
So, is your SO one of the rare and understanding gems, like the wife of my friend who told him to "go and find a girlfriend for 9 months" when she became pregnant?
Or is she one of the insecure majority who would cause a scene, like the Western woman reported in the news a while back, who bullied her respectable Afghani muslim husband to give up his plans to take a second wife - completely disregarding his culture and his religion and steamrollering his true nature?
You just have to get to know your partner better, and make your plans accordingly.
Here are a couple of quotes from smart guys for you to ponder in your ponderings:-
"I would rather be whole than be good" C.G. Jung
"If A is success, the formula is A = X + Y + Z where X is work, Y is play, and Z is keeping your mouth shut". A. Einstein
Ponder away. | |
