This  I dont get it. How are you able to sneak out 3 nites, leaving your wife in the hotel room.
Either she is dead drunk, on sleeping pills or she doesnt give a shite what are doing or where you are going.

Anyway, follow your guts. Do what you like and what you think is right.
We live once. But know the limit and when to pull out.

Color me shocked and awed as well, however . . .

the same hotel thing could work to your advantage; you 'accidentally' get your wife and GF to meet in the elevator, restaurant, etc.  They will of course automatically be attracted to one another.  For certain.   Bingo, bango, bongo, you have a three way!

No guts, no glory!

Wow, I didn't think this would get such strong responses, but I've been caught up in the middle of it, and it's good to see what others think!  I'm certain that she isn't trying to get me to be a sponsor, and "fairly" certain that she wouldn't do me harm.  She never knew my room number (BIG hotel), I just knew hers.  I told her to never text me a message of any kind...just a number...1415, and I would know that was her room number.  She respected that, and never tried to stalk us...she stayed in the room, and waited for me.  One night we met out on the street and walked around Tianmen Square together, one night we had FS all over the room, and one night I went to her apartment and we had tea, talked for an hour, climbed into bed, then went out to dinner.  That last one was covered by a planned "business meeting".   Then in the middle of the day, when the wife was tired and took a nap, I was in her room in 3 minutes!
   I probably seem too trusting, but I don't think she has any bad motives at all.  Everytime that I see her, she buys new outfits for me to enjoy.  I have asked her what I can get her, and she says that I have my own responsabilities and not to worry...that all she wants is love.  I do give her money everytime that I see her, but it is never solicited.  I give her money to help cover the flights to Hong Kong, to pay for the hotel rooms, and to go home to visit her family...but not once has she asked for anything from me.  The last night in Beijing, we went out to dinner, and I took out money to pay for it, and she insisted on paying for it herself!!   I couldn't believe it.  
    She has a lot of class, she is the most polite Chiinese girl that I have ever met, and she dresses very nice.  While I'm buying the imitation stuff at the Silk Market, she says that she hates to go there because it's not real.  I have been all over her apartment, looking for clues about her life, and everything looks in order.  I'm not sure where it will head, but I made it clear that I am not walking away from my marriage.

If ur so sure about ur marriage, better make it clear that u enjoy ur time with her and can continue to see her but that is all and u wont give up ur marriage. See how she reacts and just to be sure everyone is clear on everything, dont want to lead her on or have thoughts in her head, her hopes and dreams. They can have weird and funny thoughts

Impressive to say the least, I wouldn't be game to do the same hotel thing, hell, I would rather it be a different city!! I know you have told her that you are married, you aren't going to end that etc. she has said she understands, blah, blah, blah.

Here's the thing, if she is sincere and not trying some kind of scam angle, I doubt she can do this emotionally forever and it may well go south rapidly at some point. My experience is that I had a Chinese GF in Aust, same kind of deal, we travelled together, lots of great sex, went on for three years or so. But in the end she wanted more commitment - why can't we buy a house together, why can't you see me more, and so it went on. Very hard to break it off quickly and had to ease my way out over a period of time. Very awkward in the end.

Bottom line is that it is an emotional thing for many/most girls - my girl said she couldn't help herself, I was never sure what to say to that. Thing is what happens if she goes psycho on you and approaches your wife or starts calling you at home or the office? Not good and you will lose a lot.

Ease your way out and go back to P4P, easier life.

Yes...  this is key.  If she is in "love", which I am not doubting.. than her acceptnace of the situation will not last.  I have been down this path time and time again.  At some point she will get frustrated, hurt, and upset, that she only gets a little bit of you -- that you are available ONLY on your schedule, while your wife gets everything else.  That she cant have more of you...,  cant even call you.  Or even sms you.  

These relationships are never stable.  They grow to unbelievably lustful/romantic/honeymoon-love-affairs, and then hit a wall of some kind.  Hopefully, the "wall" in your case is not the emotional explosion of a scorned woman.  Just dont open yourself up to this kind of risk.  ALL my gals (even Joann, my 4-year love affair that totally sunk me) never knew my wife's name, never saw a picture, never knew my address, my employers name... etc. etc.  It would have taken them a lot of work and stealth to try to track down my "real world".

I remember a mate of mine in the same position as you married well off etc and had a gf in dg which he got pregnant, not sure what happened in the just that she refused to give up the kid

It's been my experience that there is very little that is non-negotiable.

I have an acquaintance that had an affair with a local KTV girl from Shandong. She fell pregnant and tried to get him to leave his wife for her and he may have done exactly that if not for the fact that he and his wife - together, owned a quite profitable corn milling factory. So he fessed up to the wife, who also realised she couldn't walk away from the marriage.

They put their heads together and decided to offer the KTV girl 100,000rmb. for the child. She refused the offer holding out for marriage (or maybe more money).

When the child was born and turned out to be a BOY (their one child was a girl). They set her up in an apartment and the husband shuttled back and forth between wife and mistress whilst negotiations continued. Unhappy with the situation she eventually went back to Shandong with the boy, supposedly to never return.

6 months later she was back, left the boy, took the money and hasn't been seen since.

[ Last edited by  atomic3d at 11-10-2012 21:11 ]

Yeah,  I'm still struggling with this whole thing.  I really care about this girl, think that she is a class act, but worried about how this will play out.  She once said to me how nice it would be to have a child, and I immediately told her that I had a V, and can't have anymore kids.  I actually told her that I want her to find a Chinese boyfriend or husband so that she wouldn't be lonely, but she gets mad when I say that.  I should say that she just quit working at the hotel because she graduated from University and is now starting a proffessional career.  She is a rare find in China...IMHO.  We talk by email at least four times each week, and I always finish feeling even better about the situation.
   It's a real dilemna to decide how to go forward from here.  Can we just ride this out for a few years...

Anything is possible but there are some good comments about others and first hand accounts on their situations so keeping an open mind about what can happen is always a good idea and also putting your own rules together so she doesn't suddenly contact the wife is paramount.

Wander,   I appreciate all of your comments and advise.  Sounds like you've got alot of experience in what I am in the middle of.  You mentioned Joann..."that totally sunk me"...does this mean that she got you in trouble in the end?  I have been careful about protecting my full identity with my girl in Beijing.  Yes, she does have my phone number, but in my phone it is listed as a guy in China, and I can always say that it is the guys sister.  She doesn't know what city I live in or the name of my business.  Curious to know what was the downfall...if their was a downfall.  I really like this girl, and if I were single would probably pursue her...but I'm not!

Hey TF,

It sounds like you are mostly doing it right.  (apart from the same-hotel thing).  I embrace these love-affairs full-throttle, so I am not one to talk you out of it.  I WILL be one to tell you to never forget what you have at home, and make sure you protect it.

About Joann?  Well, if you search on here with my username plus her name you'll see that I wrote about her often.  Not reports..., often just me trying to understand it..., as you are.  I simply fell completely in love with her.  Still am.  Our story is long and complicated.  But there has not been a downside, of any kind, except me longing for her and vice-versa.  I moved away... this is the only reason I stopped seeing her.  But we still talk and skype and are planning a visit. (dammit... I tried to forget her..., I just cant!  She's flying to LA soon to spend a week with me).  

That said... she wasnt the only one.  I had, concurrently, wonderous long-term relationships with Angelia, C, Mai, and others.  They were awesome..., (I've reported on all of them here) and I encourage all Bros here to repeat and enjoy these sweet WG women of ours to the fullest! It is just SO much better than a visiting a HG or WU - even when it is just a quick lunchtime romp.  My memories are full of so many moments of pure bliss.

Today, I got an email from Angelia today...  "baby, I miss lunchtime".  

Damn...  me too!!

[ Last edited by  wander at 12-10-2012 13:19 ]

Wander,   Thanks for sharing...always helpful.  I too have had many experiences with WG over the years...dinners out, going to parks,  but never spending three day weekends together.  This girl has really got my number!  We continue to talk almost every other day by email.  I'm making plans to spend another long weekend with her for the fourth time in 14 months.  The most amazing thing for me is that she discourages me from spending money on her!  She always tells me that I have lots of responsbilities, and not to worry about her.  I would never intentionally hurt her, and she has been told by me, repeatedly, that this relationship can never be more than it is right now.  Thanks again

Enjoy it while it lasts, Bro.  It sounds like you found a good one.  Yes, part of what she sees in you is your ability to change her entire world (finacial security, etc) but this is indeed part of our "package of goods").  Every non-working girl evaluates us in this way as well (would we be a good provider?).  It is normal, although in this case (IE: with exceedingly poor Asian WGs) this becomes a much more important/obvious criteria).  The income disparity is so huge it is easy to assume that this is the only reason they are being sweet and loving.  Not the case.

Good luck!

wander, I agreed with what you said. I hate those really cynical view by some supposedly experienced bros that all WG only see you as a banknote and will act and pretend to be anything just to swindle our money. That is just not the case.

I also have all sort of relationships with WGs and they come in all shades of greys, just like civvies. Although in my case I'm single, unlike the OP.

I think what a lot of people really mean (besides just being cynical - anything can happen! - for good) is just to keep an eye out. That's all.