Originally posted by wander at 22-11-2011 22:57
...Yet I remain on the very-edge-of-sanity with her. I feel in my bones that I MUST get away from her -- but I just cant. I will say to myself "that's it" I'm done with her - and it will take her 10 seconds and 5 words or 1 kiss and my will is broken.
It's funny how that moth/flame thing is simultaneously painful and enjoying. I went for years in a rather mundane relationship, travelled to Macau, got hit over the head emotionally, and remember hormones pumping that I hadn't felt for a very long time. I was living again - it was exhilarating.
I don't know your life, but maybe both you and her are thinking with your heads. We all want to be with the ones that we love the most, but our smarts win us over and we end up with the ones that are the best choice. That doesn't stop you from wanting to feel the teenage love hormones.
Looking to the future, do you see old fart wander serving coffee to old hag Joann while watching re-runs of Charlie Sheen on the nursing home TV?
We just go out and have a great time, and when I call up a second time everything is different - no more business, let's just spend time together.
Don't sell yourself short; it is not automatic. Money can buy proximity, but not closeness. Like respect, intimacy has to be earned. And you appear to be earning it hand over fist.