My most memorable experience of first walking through the door would have to be Darling 1...you walk in and all of a sudden 40 to 50 girls all stare at you with big smiles...I swear I couldn't even look at them for long, I was still a rookie then and it was like staring at the sun, I take a quick peek and had to look away, it felt somewhat intimidating

KaKa that is as funny as fuck!!! Do you think he will print it out and take it with him on his first punt in case he forgets? God I hope the bell goes "ding dong". If it just rings or goes "dong ding" then he may get confused!

yes, the first time i went D1...
i couldn't bring myself to sit in front...
i just sat at the furthest couch, didn't really dare to look at the girls..
just kept drinking my beer, until the manager bugged me to choose a girl!!!

i seriously hope he doesn't need the printout!!!
but if he needs it... maybe i should write a new one in Chinese...
then he can show it to the WG and ask her to follow the instructions.
they can do it together step by step.. fool-proof!  

lol love the lemon tea!!!
I prefer ask when I arrive, quite hot in hk

Outstanding! best possible response. Most appropriate response as well I think...

actually quite hilarious!

Hilarious - that is THE quintessential "Dummys guide to fucking a whore" - that one drawing can be the front cover, back cover and the entire  content of the book -   

this is srlsy thread of the yr. extra kudos to kaka flow chart

thats the best flowchart ever.  i literally LOLed!

....strange... I never had that problem with your Girlfriend

Hmm on reading this extract, I, Akka Gloriousus, I, slaughterer of thousands, I, oppressor of the meek, Subduer of the weak, Degrader of the Greek, Destroyer of the Turk, Must hurry back to work and point out that this guy is either a troll or a young lad trying to work out what daddy is up to.

"then u make out....."

Let me clarify for you chappy - HG are prostitutes. They give you sexual services in exchange for cash. That means that you put you winkiein their tuppance, jiggle it about a bit, and you cum, feel a bit deflated (or exhilarated) get buyers remorse, go back and buy the wife a present on route. Look at the diagram given...

apparently the OP has visited a Bond girl before (or so he claims). but no reports from him came up when I searched, except for a report from the Chinese forum that he translated and posted in the HK reports section. and then we have this nonsense thread, so I really have no idea what his deal is.

maybe he's a schizophrenic...

Firstly may I again stress the importance of knowing what a word means. I am not schizophrenic as i'm sure i don't show signs paranoia nor do i have hallucination to which both drag me to a point where i start see things. so again learn your words.

Secondly so i can finally end this. i might have been too harsh on my joke. And yes a joke can be fictional, when was the last time you saw a chicken cross the road. so i would like to say sorry for everyone I offended. And especially to James if he is reading this, i'm sure you would never do such a thing and my apologies to you.

oh right, I always get schizophrenia confused with multiple personality disorder. or DID http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder

wait so which part was the joke? feigning ignorance about what happens in an HG session, or claiming to have visited a Bond girl?

I don't know... looks like a genuine question from someone too lazy to search to me...

Dude seriously, i'm trying civil which is now very hard to be as i am trying to end this conversation but your dragging this conversation on. I said that i was wrong to have made the joke and i apologized for it. what more do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you that your idea of me having multiple personality disorder is incorrect as you are saying that i have MPD based on me making this post and a joke which was fictional i.e made up, as in it never happened. As well as your quest to prove that i have done a WG, which is frankly no more than a delusion and i  quote"apparently the OP has visited a Bond girl before" which to be honest, i never said as i stated the joke was fictional, ergo, this post asking for advise.

But to make matters worse you have to add a Wikipedia link to which if you read it, it says "Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities" and the keyword their being "distinct" As the two facts you accuse me of do not show two distinct entities, as how do you hold a joke to having a personality, unless your talking metaphorically, which still it isn't personified in anyway. Thus you have no argument. Do you want me to explain this in a way that a Neanderthal would understand?

And yes, in your very sarcastically toned part of speech, you have outlined to a certain extent, the joke. This now shows that you have failed at creating sarcasm which now reflects on how little you understand the joke in the first place.

So please, i am begging you, i don't like acting this way but i am trying to end this horrible conversation. I have nothing against you, but i just want us to stop bickering.

@TonyToro i know i read it somewhere, but i searched for like 10 mins and i just couldn't find it again. So i thought if someone knew where it was, they could just link me to it

Sorry - late joining this convo... You're apologising for a joke? And who's James? I'm confused here!

Bro, on one hand you are saying this is a joke. ie, you asked questions you know the answers to?

Then you are saying (in the same post mind you) that the reason you asked the question is because you did search but couldn't find the answers you need. Seriously Bro... can you see why other Bros are a little sceptical and frustrated with you?

Suggestion, the answers you seek were provided very early in this thread. Take the time to research them. Use that info to have a few punts. Report your experiences for our collective better education. Believe me Bro, this bullshit thread will soon be forgotten and we can all concentrate on pussy!

I think the joke was in the report of the HG not of the question. I think he genuinely didn't know what to do and I take it as knowing when to pay. I sure as hell hope he knows what to do when the girl asks him to take his clothes off or do you think he doesn't expect that to happen?!

Jupkan,...as many posters have said...the diagram says it all. It really is a brilliant diagram!

yeah, me confused too .... I was reaching for neg K switch but too lazy ...

Anyway Kaka's brilliant professional flow diagram made this thread really useful. Now I understand where I've been going wrong all these years.