I just read bro Siklong's report about his punting experience with his boss..thats great that he and his boss have the same interest, but I am wondering how the topic of mongering ever comes up for you bros out there amoungst acquintances.  I have a friend who, which i witnessed a few times, just casuaslly, out of the blues brings up the subject of hobbying amongstwith guys that he just met at a bar.  This happened yesterday too with the salesguys in a cigar shop.  I was a bit uneasy with this, but Luckyly the other dudes happen to be fellow mongers and gave us some great recommendations.  With a close friend, the subject is natural, but how well do you know another person before you ever bring up the subject of mongering?  I would love to ask some of my not so close friends and colleagues if they are into 141's but not sure how they will react. Please share experiences.

I guess it's just gut feeling. Of course, if you know them well and 'know' what sorta person they are then you can talk about the subject.
As with strangers, it's not THAT bad surely. Ok, so you ask/tell them about your hobby....2 scenarios may happen.
1) they are disgusted with your sick behaviour and don't wanna talk to you no more. So what's the big deal? You don't really know them and surely you can avoid meeting them again if you had too.
2) they share a common interest, so you've made new mongering buddies!

It comes up pretty naturally if the subject strays towards frustration with an SO or to sex work in general.  

141 is in the news (just) enough for you to mention you know ABOUT the site.  At that point you don't have to admit USING it, and your friend has an opportunity to reveal his (or her??) own prejudices before disclosing further.

I don't.

I prefer to share my extra curricular activity with someone outside my office.

Wish I could bring the sunject up but experience teaches that dont mix up work and pleasure are two seperate things in my book and that is safest. You never know with work mates when the competition kicks in theyll tread all over you! enjoy having diferent compartment in your life!

This.

Plus all the ladies would look down you for being a sleaze bag. And/Or putting down your because you go whoring with your superiors   But getting drunk at an office party and fucking is a happy accident

DON'T.

Well, not with friends or co-workers unless 1.) They bring it up first; and 2.) They keep talking about it enough for you to get a sense about how serious they are.  The last thing you need is someone "accidentally" mentioning your extracurricular activities to friends and family.

With strangers it's a lot easier.  If you're in a bar for example, it's easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger and then casually ask if they know any places to meet women.  If they're fellow mongers then they'll get the hint, and if not then maybe they'll still recommend some other local bars where you can meet women.

If you're at a walkup building or such and meet another monger in the hallway, just smile and ask if there are any girls he recommends and start trading tips.  This happened to me in London's Soho walkups.  A fellow punter began chatting me up and we got to trading info on which girls worked in what buildings.  Good stuff.

Conclusion: DO NOT share with acquantances if you are not prepared for the consequences.

It is natural to want to share but it is also natural to be worried if the information fall into the wrong hands. Tread lightly - at your own risk. THere are always ppl who we consider to be in the 'holier than thou' category and judge you - would not want your bosses, family to find out now, would you?

I was always under the impression that in HK, sex is so unusually and cheaply accessible locally, in macau, or in china, that the majority of guys would at least be very curious. Nowhere in the world that I know, is it so relatively cheap, accessible, plentiful, and high quality.

About bringing it up, you just joke around on that subject and see what the response is. if they're having a great laugh, you push it some more, by mentioning real stories that you have heard of, and then keep pushing the limit further until you get the other guy to virtually admit he's done it or at least really wants to try.

though.... like the other guys said, opening this can of worms in the workplace might be unnecessarily complicated. you know.... don't they say you shouldn't sh*t where you eat?

Most of them are " all talk , no action".

Guys in office jokes bout it, and talk shit like they know the drill. I just smile and listen to their bullshit " oh really ! Wow man! REally??!!".
Most will join the convo and joke about it but never admit it.

in my office, I am in the circle of guys who frequents nauty KTV's once a month...everyone knows, but I never confirm or deny the fact then I take the girls out afterwards.

Never had the nerve to raise the subject with anyone I know. I just don't think they'd approve. Better safe than sorry.

For me this issue has come up a few times with acquaintances and co-workers over the years.

My advise is play dumb and avoid involvement in the topic.

In general it can only lead to awkward situations.
I do realize that some have successfully dealt with the issue in a work environment, but to my experience for every positive "Healthy" case there are 10 that will go bad.

Given the type of hobby "Bad" can be very very Bad.

Socially (IMHO) we are dealing with a Don't Ask / Don't Tell hobby.
One that while legal is deemed immoral by some, and one that certain individuals would take pleasure in bringing to light to "Save you".

I personally have been able to enjoy my hobby almost soley due to the fact that I don't talk about it and make it any more than an anonymous part of my life.

----8th

Do but don't Talk (Except here of course)
;-)

I keep my hobbying to myself.  While I've been tempted to spill the beans to some friends who had recently broken up with their SO, I catch myself and shut up.  It could be a huge problem if they find out and in turn tell somebody else who knows you.  Just don't want to open up that possibility...

so a question to the guys who live in HK...... what is the percentage of all men in HK that you think participate in these "activities" on a (at least) sporadic basis?

I'd say above a certain age it's the majority ... reason being the cash required.  

The PC way to talk about it is to admit you sometimes accept a tug after a massage.  For some reason a HJ is not in the same category as FS ... gives you an "out" if the conversation isn't going where you expected it to.  

Like Bill said "it's not sex".  

Totally agree with the bros that in 99% of cases it's better to avoid the subject especially at work.  Hey, we're on an anonymous forum, so obviously that's going to be the prevailing view!  

But there are situations where it's an advantage to be able to delicately navigate a conversation to the subject he really wants to talk about (e.g. in high-level B2B sales).

I'm in this camp.  Letting someone with any control over your life have this bit of dirt on you is just giving them too much dirt.

Plus keep this in mind: a lot of us think we're safe and sane about this hobby, but that's only because we're used to it.  To folks outside this circle you may come off as a raving pervert.  And not because they're prudes, but maybe because you really are a raving pervert and just can't see it.  I had a business acquaintance that fell into this category.  He thought he was totally hobbying responsibly, but whenever he'd start talking about his sex tourism in Europe and Asia he'd do this Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde transformation and it would weird everyone out.  He went from mild mannered businessman to fat, pasty white, doughboy-grandpa-pervert with a nasty drool.  Other guys (guys within the hobby) would literally stop shaking his hand as if they were afraid they were going to catch something.

So just realize before you open your mouth, you may not look as sane as you think when discussing this subject.

I know i gave you a neg but CHILL....You are bringing back old memories....Forget it bro.... words of wisdom, not by me but "You are who you are..." You get me bro...

[ Last edited by  Rico at 7-11-2009 09:37 ]

Sorry if I brought up a bad memory for you Rico, but that's the point of this discussion.  You're not a good judge of how you look to the outside world.  Dinging somebody points is for stuff that's off-topic or just plain wrong.  Using the rating system to make up for your bad memories is an abuse of the system.

Hey Rico and TheButler - I've return your acceptance points.

Everyone is entitled to their constructive opinions and shouldn't be bombed if brings up bad memories.