Got a serious question to ask here so please be honest with your comments as if you were in my position.
In your guys opinion "is any girl worth sacrificing a move thousands of miles away to be with them?"
For the record, she used to be a wg but not by choice, by coercion and now she's out of the business
she lives in China and I've known her for about 2 years now and she wants me to go spend Chinese New years with her and her family. Mind you, this is the first time I am going to see her family and so it is a bit intimdating. She has asked me numerous times when we are getting married and what my plans are? I dont know what to tell her except that I like her and that I wont leave her but I dont know if I can commit myself to moving to another part of the world to be with her. She said she's giving me 5 years but after that if I dont know the answer, than we should break up. the problem is that I dont know if she truly loves me. It's hard to tell if someone truly loves anyone else but if I knew that, I would sacrifice it to be with someone. What are your guys views on this?

Welcome back V

Not for me, I've been asked many many times by HGs to shack up with them in Shenzhen. I've even had mainland HGs who are currently living in Chongquin, Sichuan, Ningbo, Beijing say that they would even come to live in SZ so that they can be close to me. I guess they want to get away from the poverty trap.

thanks for the welcome back Goose!! But are the girls you know still WGs or are they out of the game and they are being real about the relationship thing. If she was still a WG and asked me that, I would say 100% HELL NO, but she's not and I think she is serious but who knows.

Def a risk, my man.  As Goose pointed out, it could be an attempt to get out of the poverty trap.  Ultimately, I think it doesn't matter what we tell you, but more about how you feel.  You say you've known her for 2 years and she's giving you 5.  I'm going to assume that's on top of the 2 for now.  Regardless, you've already stated that you're not ready to make that kind of commitment yet, so take it slow.  Don't let her force you into making a decision b/c, as you said, it's a big one.  Generally, I don't see meeting a girl's family as something to fear/be nervous about, although it is a pretty big move.  I think that you should avoid it in this case since you're not ready to make a commitment.  Going could be misinterpreted, plus you'll also have the rest of the family possibly pressuring you.

Yes, all of them are ex-HGs and most of them never come back to HK as a WG again. At the moment I haven't found a HG that I'm head over heels in love with, but some have been close. I don't mind helping them out occassionally but there are so many of them, I can't love them all.....

Every one has his/her attractive points to make someone love him/her. Maybe u're right that one of the reason she loves u is bcoz u can bring her out of poverty. Then what's the reason why u love her. Her sex skill, beauty ..... . No matter what ur ans is, all of attractive points combine together to make u love her, vice versa. As a man, I totally understand that you don't want to devote too much to love a one before u sure that she truly love u. Bcoz we want to minimize the risk and the sad feeling that may occur if u realised she doesn't love u. But falling in love is always a gamble. No matter the gal is a wg, ex-wg or normal gal, we always need to devote alot to make them truly love us. Of course, if u find one who loves u more than u do, u're lucky. But if this is not the case, what u gonna do? Step back or work harder to make her loves u. There's no answer to this question. And it all depends on what risk u wanna take. No, low, high is all up to u. My 2 cents.

I dont know if I love her or not but I do care about her and want to see where it might lead. I have never been someone who is afraid to take risks but I also dont want to be the guy 30 years from now saying that she could have been the one only if I took the chance but like you said I also dont want to look like a fool and feel hurt and betrayed if it doesnt go right. Just wanted to get peoples opinions on what they would do if they were in my position. thanks for your 2 cents

My opinion? Pay for a PI and follow her around for a month, make sure there aren't any other men(suckers) if any.  Just a safety precaution bro.  China gals are slick, not saying yours is... but you never fucking know.

hahaa. lol!! If I was gonna marry her for sure, then I would do that. But at this point, not sure yet. Besides, she says she's giving me 5 years so I figure I got 3 years to go before I make my decision. Also, that's a good point you just made. Many of my close friends also told me that China girls are very cunning and tricky. There is a chinese proverb that says "tian shang jiu tou niao, di shang hu bei lao". If anyone can read that, it roughly translates to Hubei girls are cunning. My friend also told me to becareful of her as well.  but I willl hire a PI once or if the time comes. Good advice

no offense, but why would someone marry an ex WG? Ofcourse it was not her choice to be a WG, but that doesnt change the fact she had alot of men....

and why would a woman marry a guy who punts? Can't she get any better? Like a dude who doesnt know she was a WG, a dude who doesnt punt (at least not that she knows of).

it is just very easy to say i love you, i miss you, i want to marry you, i wait foryou.... just words dude,

i dont care whatever those wg say to me, and so far i havent retried a same HG yet,  WG's are sexual needs, you shouldnt find your future wife in them...

goodluck

i guess we'll see it play out in the near future.

so a woman has had a lot of men does that mean she is a bad person who does not deserve love or can never be loved?

I like i am sure many here have met lots of WG who do not like what they do but for various reasons they make the sacrifice.

[ Last edited by  reggid at 23-1-2010 18:14 ]

hmmm, 5 years to decide.  That interests me as I have had same offer, also from ex WG who has been civilian for about 14 months, plus she wants my "baby" now.

I would play if I was single and see how things turn out but I am married ... very happily too.

VG are you "available" or tied up?  I think the decision is harder if you are not already happy in current situation.

Most of the opinions given here directly address your main concern - that your girl used to be a WG.
But is this really what you should ONLY be concerned about?

Marriage - even the "most perfect" one - is fraught with all sorts of difficulties and challenges already. IMHO it is always better to chose a gal that is most closely alligned/similar to yourself. Similar family background, education, beliefs, education, standards, morals etc.

Even from just reading your very brief description of the situation, I can already detect marked differences between you and your gal.  And you should know yourself just how much different you are from her.

I can expound on my opinion that it is a very bad idea to get too involved with a WG - present or past. But even before that, I would really like for you to first consider just how different you are from her and how a relationship with her is going to already be difficult - never mind that she was a WG.

If you do decide to go on with your relationship with her - you need to know that you are DEFINITELY going to go on a long and hard slog. Is it going to be worth it?  For after all, half of the world are females - surely there are other gals that will make for an easier start to life.

Understand that marriage should be looked upon as the start of your assuming your mantle as an adult, and that a marriage SHOULD be the BASIC foundation upon which you can build greatness.  You cannot build greatness if your foundation is shaky.

Just my POV

SEAJ

I don't understand ... you say once you decide you'll be moving up north to China to be with her ? WHY ???
are you ethnic Chinese ?
Most Chinese women would move to where her man would be rather then the other way around !
I don't think anyone here can give you good advise on if you should or shouldn't ... only your heart can
tell you your direction - for good or for worse ...

a girl giving someone 5 years ?  don't add up buddy ... by the time those 5 years are over the best years of her life will be gone !!!

dude, sometimes long distance relationship with normal girls dont work out, let alone with a WG thousands of miles away...

Dont fall into this trap.

The only thing I could have suggested is that if you had lived in the same town, then maybe you could have dated her for 6moths or so to figure out where both of your heads are...

cheers.

I am available as a matter of fact. told her that I was only gonna be with her and that I wasn't gonna leave her. she said 5 years max but she didn't say anything about wanting my baby though, hahaa. Good for you that you are happily married and I probably will see how it plays out.

here here for that. I agree with your statement completely. WG's are humans and they deserve to be loved as well. the fact that she's been with other guys bothers me a bit but the bigger picture is that if she has changed and is a good person at heart, why not?

Your point of view is greatly appreciated and I take that into consideration. A lot of good advice and I know that this is not something to be taken lightly that's why I have asked for members genuine responses as if they were in my position. Also, the long and hard slog is not something I am terribly concerned about. If it is a hard and long slog, I just wnat to make sure that she will be there with me but I can sacrifice if it is for real. And it is true that there are many differenes between us such as educational background, family etc. and I might be naive to say this but I believe that "love can conquer all". In the end though, only time will tell and I'll keep members posted on how it turns out.

she was 18.5 when I met her and this year she will be 22. So in 5 years time from when she was 18.5 she would only be 23.5, I dont see how that will be past the best years of her life. It's not like she's over 30 or anything.