I recall this experience about 20 years ago:

Name: Miss PreHKPooner
Link: Not provided
Age: Advertised as 20 my guess 25
Looks : BS?PS?!  Pic must've been taken 5 years ago or it must've been some PS work. Still she was very attractive.  4/5.
Body: WOW. What a knockout here.  Everything was in all the right places.  Some minor points taken off for a few blemishes here and there but this is as close to perfect as I have seen ever! 4.75/5.
Skill: 3/5
Service: 3/5

So I called and set up a phone appt.  I decided meet up at a restaurant first so I could walk away in case it was a bad case of PS or whatever.  Got there, and yes, there was some PS but she was still smoking hot.  After a good meal and conversation decided to head off and have a series of other fun stuff before heading off to the main event.

Fast forward to the main event.  LOTS of DFK (I know I usually don't dfk but this seemed different).  Talk about total GFE experience.  There was passion and this girl was on fire!  Everything was on the menu. DFK, DATY, BBBJ, BBFS, multiple shots.  Everything I usually wouldn't do I did this time!  Must've been those mental lapses and didn't think with the big OR little head this time. Listened to some head in my chest cavity!  While the skill seemed a bit inexperienced (and at times felt even more like I was servicing her than she was servicing me!) she was willing to try with some minor protest and it made for a very nice interesting experience.  Feeling full of energy, I even went overnight with this one and it was a looonnnng night!

Overall score: 8.5/10
Total damage: (accumulated totals to this point) Dinner and drinks $100USD approx, previous gifts $500USD, Gas $50USD (gas was cheap back in those days) Total estimate roughly between $600-$2000 USD
Repeat: Yes! While it seems a bit pricy, I've been having a blast with this one and I'd be repeating for a while.

Recently I managed to get an appointment with the same provider but she was listed under a different name:

Name: Mrs. HKPooner
Link: Still no link provided
Age: Rumored to be in her 25s but I know she was at least 25 when I punted 20 years ago!  My guess is 40's to mid 40's although she could definitely pass for 35.
Looks: Time has taken some toll on this girl.  While still somewhat attractive, it's nowhere near what I remembered it to be before.  3/5
Body: 1/5. Stretch marks everywhere!  It seemed more like a road map than anything. Boobs sagging. Big flabby ass! Ugg why do I torture myself?
Skill: N/A
Service: 0/5!

There are some days that really make you regret punting.  This must be one for me.  I was going to repeat with this girl.  Talk about the biggest mistake!  First off, she's still using the same pics as the ones she used 20 years ago!  Anyways, there was no gfe or anything. Got there, had to take my own clothes off.  She was just there watching her TV as if I didn't exist! I had to ask her to remove her clothes as she wasn't going to budge and wouldn't let me take it off.  Off to the showers! - NOT!!!

She told me to go shower by myself.  I asked if she was going to join? She said, no I'm fine, you stink though so shower by yourself! Talk about a bitch! Anyways, against my better judgement, I proceeded with this punt (I paid for it already! Stupid Stupid me...brothers, NEVER NEVER NEVER pay for the punt until after the deed but I was screwed in this situation).  Quickly showered and proceeded to the bed.

She kept watching TV as if I wasn't even there?!? LB was not waking up so I decided to turn off her TV.  BAD MISTAKE! She then starts bitching at me and complaining at me for turning off the TV.  Fine.  I waited it out, tried to kiss her but she was having none of it.  So I just sat there being bombarded with stupid ass drama girly crap bore the fuck out of you TV.  LB was definitely not up for anything by now.  Finally the TV thing ended and she went to turn off the lights.  Yes! Time for the main event!  She gets back into bed and starts to kiss me....or so I thought.  It was more like a kiss on the cheek that you'd give to a 5 year old boy and then she just went to sleep!  I nudged her a little and she then turned on superbitch mode and told me to take care of it myself!??!  Frustrated and pissed now I decided to just forget about it and made a mental note to punt the next day while I'm at work with a different provider!

Overall score: 1/10.  There was aircon in the room at least!
Total damage: More than 1/2 of my complete assets.  Continual payments.  The list goes on.
Repeat: Are you kidding me?!?!?  Even if she offered to give me my money back, I'd seriously have to think if I want to go down this road again had I known earlier.  And I've talked with the agent.  No refund, no apologies, nothing!  The agent even has the audacity to tell me to take out the garbage for her! There's ridiculous and then there's this...

huh?

u mean u tried this lady 20 yrs ago?
and at that time, she used a photo that was taken 5 yrs ago?
and u suspect the photo was photoshopped?

hmm.. Photoshop was around since 25 years ago???!

very confusing.
I thought it was he fucked this gal 25 yrs ago and 25 yrs later, he fuck her again.

Anything in between, I still dont get it....

Seriously guys?  U didn't actually read it did u?  Happily, marriage doesn't work out this way for all of us!

I think he was referring to a separate mother / daughter session ;)  Somewhat confusing.

Did you call my name bohica? haha

confusing post :S

Guys, guys,

1. This isn't a report, it's a parable. See the heading of the section?

2. Notice the name of the "girl" in the second punt?

Well done, HKPooner, one of those posts that, like a standup comedian's
joke that's just a bit too close to home, drew nervous laughter from me.

now I'm totally lost ...  

You guys who don't get it ........ please tell me you are joking!!   

Obviously the story of HKPooner and his life as a typical married man. After the blush of romance with "Miss PreHKPooner", we see the results of twenty years of marriage to "Mrs. HKPooner". I have to agree it is rare to find a married man who doesn't experience the same results to some degree. I assume this is a light-hearted look at his present circumstances. Life is too short to in an unhappy relationship for any length of time.  Thankfully there are a bevy of beauties in Hong Kong ready and willing to provide those services that the wife has long since abandoned.   

Ah, yes, waldo figured this one out, and I must admit I was pretty confused too.
Upon rereading it's very clearly allegorical.  Good job HKPooner!

Nice one - took a couple of readings, but it all makes perfect sense!

Sorry for the confusion guys.  I was busy taking care of my needs after writing that up yesterday (Was a mediocre punt but got the job done so I'm not going to review).  

It's definitely a story only a married man could relate to and yes, it's a light-hearted (but somewhat disturbingly true) look into life sometimes .  As for 20 years from now, I'll probably be missing my LB either he will be MIA or captured by the enemy! (read: wife chopped it off cuz she finally caught on to me punting more times than I've had sex with her) - and that is also a light-hearted (but somewhat possibly disturbingly true scenario too....)

lol.. finally i get it... stupid me..

i was wondering how the hell the agent get u to take out the garbage for her?!


ok.. moving back to veggie section.

Thanks for the hand holding, even I finally got it.  

But wait a second, a wife?  Isn't that a civvie?  

Oh no, where does that leave us now?????

More to figure out    

Che'lu

You  may think a wife is a civvie, but it's probably one of the world's most expensive providers.  

If I wanted someone to cook and clean, I'd hire a maid.
If I didn't take care of her financial needs when they arise, she'd eventually leave or become non-exclusive.  You can only take starvation dire poverty so long especially if you are somewhat attractive.
It's the company, sex and her time that I want most and I spend a fortune on her.  Now please explain how that is a civvie?   

Perhaps more exclusive? (at least I hope so!)

I got it the first time...surprised to be ion the minority here.

There's this K-gal who was the #1 AMP provider (maybe #2 but no lower) in LA in the mid-late 90s. She was no spring chicken then either. She moved to Dallas where she's probably in the Top 5 locally, and #1 at her store when she's there. I know her true age, she's actually older than me-but has the advantage of a) better genetics, and b) some awesome world class cosmetic surgeons in KR. I mean, when I ran into her in Dallas, I didn't even recognize her. Guys there actuallyt hink she's late 20s. Think about that one (I'd say pass for 35-37).

you are very lucky man go buy the lottery

chelu - hahaha Guess I'll have to try getting the next HG to start moaning and bitching at me.  Oh wait a minute. It's happened before.  They're called bad punts! - strange how the p and c consonants sound so similar here!  

Or was it more the moaning and bitching from farting in her face when she's watching some sappy stuff on tv that makes her teary eyed BEFORE it's even anywhere near a sad or touching moment?  That kind of moaning and bitching just makes my day!

Thank you sir!  Handle just refers to my rather silly predisposition to driving too fast when I was younger - hence referred to euphemistically as being rather "heavyfooted".    Of course I'm all better now