Very similar experiences
I'm 100% agreed with the majority of your points jhnxmth. I think the main difference I had, was I'm very much leaning towards a monogamous relationship as opposed to your polyamory. I've only dated one WG over the course of about 2 years. It was probably the roughest relationship I've had. Definitely not one that I was ready for.
Your first point was similar for me. I'd see terms of endearment in her texts consistently, but surprisingly I didn't place _too_ much emphasis on those, so I wasn't terribly bothered.
To the second point, it's difficult. When our relationship first started, she was still working, with the caveat that if things got serious she would stop working, because she didn't want to seriously date and work at the same time. She was working out of an luxury apartment that we both lived in at the time (I was selling/buying a new place). Definitely an odd feeling sitting in the lobby of your "home", waiting for another monger to finish with your possible girlfriend, before you can get home and relax after work.
As expected, we both somehow managed to catch feelings, probably due to the excitement of someone new etc, and we had the difficult discussion of her stopping working. Tentatively it was successful for the short term, but the longer the relationship went, the more tenuous it became, especially if we fought. When things were good they were great, but it could rapidly change at the drop of a hat.
Everything became transactional.
"I could have made $X last week."
"I'm not gaining anything from this relationship."
"You don't love me if you don't buy me X."
All of my worth to her was valued with a $ sign if there was any sort of rockiness, as I was the only reason she wasn't working. Eventually I couldn't handle the stress and being treated as a sack of money. I'm well off enough, but I'm certainly no millionaire  . I certainly can't match the income she'd make if she was working full time, as she'd easily clear several thousand a day if she actually put in the effort.
All in all, after that experience, I don't think I'd ever date a WG again. I ended the relationship with a ton of stress off my back, and albeit a relatively lighter wallet. I thought it was something I could handle, but given my lifestyle and life choices, I don't think it's possible. Hopefully that sheds another perspective from someone who's relatively "vanilla" in their relationship choices.
Thanks for all the reviews etc, I don't contribute to those anymore as I don't hobby while happily in a relationship, but it's fun to read and keep up with the times. I used to frequent RB back in the day and was significantly more active during that time. I saw this thread and thought I could contribute this way instead.
My advice is really know what you're getting in to before you get into a serious relationship. Or treat it like jhnxmth - have your fun, and then get out before it starts to go down hill. I'm sure there are some successful ones, that's just my 2 cents. | |
. I certainly can't match the income she'd make if she was working full time, as she'd easily clear several thousand a day if she actually put in the effort.