I feel ashamed, I tell myself I'm a sick fuck... that I love my so and I shouldn't do what I'm about to do... but then I end up doing it anyway. For me it's not about companionship, pretty girls, emotional connection, any of that. I've been with ugly girls, fat ones, exceptionally beautiful ones, always looking just for the act, always wanting them gone the second after. And always, always, accompanied by the sickening guilt. But the need to do it is too overwhelming and it comes too often to be dealt with by my so.
I cannot conceive life without my so, but still I play the game. I hope a fool's hope that I'll have the strength to stop once we get married.
[ Last edited by freakingme at 16-6-2011 00:30 ] | |
